Band imagines/oneshots

Not anymore Pt. 2 (Ray Toro)

Its been 4 whole months since you've talked to Ray, or any of the band. You could hardly take it. You missed him/them so much, it was slowly killing you. You thought you would be able to get over him, you expected to be over him just like that. But, no. You couldn't. You tried. So, so very hard. There was just to much to forget, to much to let go of. But of course you weren't going to go back to him, you didn't want to seem weak, even though it was clear you were.

The one day you decide to go out to the store, you run into your ex boyfriends band mates/your ex best friends. You looked terrible, your hair a tangled mess, you wearing nothing but an extremely baggy T-shirt and some sweatpants to hide how skinny you were getting. You really mean it when you say you cant live properly without him.

You try your best to not be noticed by your old buddies, but that failed miserably. As soon as you stepped a foot forward, Gerard noticed you, and pointed you out among the little crowd of people in the same isle as you. They each immediately leaped over to me, seeming generally happy to see me. "Y/N, oh my god, Y/N, its been a long time, we were so worried about you, how are you?" Gerard asked enthusiastically, leaning into a hug but you deny it. "Fine" I say emotionionless, like I have nothing really to say. "You don't look so great y/n... you don't seem fine" Mikey included, trying to get me to speak up. "I'm fine. Really. Dont worry about me, please." I said, acting like I was annoyed. "Look... Y/N, we know what happened with ray, and-" "no, Gerard. It doesn't matter. Seriously, its fine. He didn't love me and that's okay. I don't blame him." I cut Gerard off, glancing at the floor, avoiding there concerned and saddened expressions. "But he did love you Y/N, so much.. and he-" "Stop! Please! I really don't want to hear this shit! None of it is true and its pointless anyway because even if I do still love ray, he doesn't love me. I cant deal with getting my heartbroken again. Why cant anybody understand that!" I scream, interrupting Gerard once more, getting the attention of some nearby shoppers. Suddenly I see ray make his way into the front of the small group, and I freeze. "Okay so I found some of this, I don't know if its the real kind or-" ray says, stopping in the middle of his sentence once he notices me. He stares at me, sorryness and regret returning to his eyes. You inhale sharply and tears start to form in the back of your eyes, so you quickly turned around and headed for the exit of the store. Ray chased after you, grabbing you by the waist and stopping you. You turn around and gasp, shoving him off you. You can see the look of concern, fear, and realisation in his eyes. It killed you to see him. Knowing how great things used to be with him, and then how it all came crumbling down. "Y-You're so skinny Y/N" he says, looking at you like you're dying. "Yeah, I lost a few pounds" you replied, wanting to just die already so all of your pain would go away. "No, y/n... you... you're so..." he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "I did this to you" he said, letting a single tear run down his cheek. You lightly shook your head, knowing that of course it wouldn't convince him, or make him drop the subject, but just excepting the situation. "You didn't do this.." you said, almost in a whisper.
"Yes I did. I broke your heart. I made you feel unloved. I shattered everything good we had, and I didnt have the balls to attempt to pick everything up and put it back together. Im still so in love with you, but I bet at this point you don't believe me anymore. But I need to you, I need to know that I still want you, I need you, Its so damn hard without you... but I have done to much damage, I know I cant ever get it back." He said, crying, making the tears in my eyes spill out onto my cheeks and making loud sobs escape my mouth. I stood there and cried for a minute, shaking and trying to breath. Then suddenly, i just, loose control. I fall into his embrace, and he holds me tight, tighter than he ever used to when we hugged, seeming like I was the only thing left for him hold onto. I cried in his chest, while we held onto eachother for dear life. God it felt so good to be with him again, to be surrounded with nothing but him. He pulled away just the slightest bit and ducked his head down, bringing his lips close to my ear. "Can we please fix this? Can you ever forgive me?" He whispered desperately, like he was just waiting for me to say no. I remain still for so moment, and then with swift moments I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to my height and kissed him. It was filled with love, with passion, and it felt like surrender. I finally had him back, my world finally felt heavy and colorful and warm again, giving me my energy and my will to live back in my body. "Never let me slip away again" I said, resting my forehead against his. "Never again" he repeated back to me, reassuring me. I smile and genuine smile for the first time in months, and I shift to rest my head on his shoulder.

Things were broken and meaningless, life feeling like its being slowly pulled out from under you. But, now you had ray again.. so... no more sadness. Nothing is gray, not anymore.