Shapeshifter

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Showing Vulnerability

I slipped back inside, closing the door to the balcony and walking out of Mark's room, I needed to find Leo and Sebastian and ask them to help pack up Mark's belongings. I padded down the hallway, past Marley's room, where she still sobbed while Sam and Courtney bickered about who was going to sleep where, until they just gave up and decided all three would share the one bed, Marley in the middle.

The hall was a buzz of noise as I descended the stairs, finding Leo and Sebastian looking tired. They looked like they could use some quiet. "Listen up!" I roared and everyone quietened down, looking at me, acknowledging me as their leader for now. "Everyone settle down and get some rest. Tomorrow is the funeral, then we rebuild this pack from there. Everyone will move back to their homes and we'll move on. Everyone just get some rest, please. It's been a tough day. Comfort each other. No arguing. Nothing like that. At least not tonight. And please, quieten down. Look out for each other. And especially Marley. Goodnight." They sang 'goodnight' back to me and I motioned for Leo and Sebastian to follow.

"How are you doing?" Leo asked after ten minutes of silently cleaning out Mark's room.

"I'm fine. I'm worried about Marley though. And Courtney and Sam. But those two are doing better than Marley." I frowned, remembering Amelia. "I know what's it's like to have your sibling die."

"What?" They asked in unison, staring at me as I continued to fold Mark's clothes.

"Amelia is dead." I said.

"How?" Leo asked.

I paused. "It doesn't matter anymore." I said. "She's gone and can't come back, so there's no point." I put one of Mark's shirts down and bit my lip. "I want to talk to Marley. Keep doing this." And I left before they could stop me.

I ran to my room, grabbed my photo album, and made my way to Marley's room, where she hadn't moved. She was physically weak, crying. Sam and Courtney both looked stressed and heartbroken, seeing their mum like this and my chest ached. I hoped this would help. I knocked softly on the door and Sam looked up, smiling weakly. I walked in and sat next to Marley. "Marley?" She looked at me and my heart shattered at the sight of her. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair a mess and her face was wet with tears and snot. The look in her eyes, that was the worst: defeated.

Broken.

I grabbed her hand and Courtney and Sam stood back, watching intently. "I thought you could use someone who understands. Truly understands."

"Like you understand this." She snapped through her tears and I smiled gently.

"I do." Her sobs became sniffles as she looked into my eyes, searching for something. I held out the photo album, open to a photo of Amelia. Her red eyes flicked down to the photo. "My sister, Amelia. She was sixteen."

"Was?"

"She recently died. I was told this morning, before Leo appeared." She stayed silent, not knowing what to say. "It's like having your heart torn out. And knowing there was nothing you could do to save them, that just makes your soul collapse, doesn't it?"

She nodded. "You're amazing, Cj." I looked at her, shocked. "You're so strong. How are you so strong? You haven't grieved your sister yet, you could have. I wouldn't of been able to fight if I'd heard Mark had died. I wouldn't of been able to move. Like now."

"I've learnt to just push aside my pain, lock it away for a rainy day. I don't show my pain." She frowned, thinking her reaction was wrong. "But, that's not healthy. It's better to let it all out. Keeping it in, it does nothing but cripple you. And it builds up and up and soon, you can operate. That's why you should just let it all out; cry, smash some things. Don't conceal it. I fought because I knew I needed to. For the sake of everyone else, I fought as hard as I could to protect them, because if they were Amelia, I'd have given my life. I will grieve her, eventually. I've kept my pain hidden so much that I don't find it as easy to... work. I'll have good days, but it can all be forgotten by a single dark cloud in my mind and I'll shut off. It ruins you. It destroys you." She handed me back the album. "If you need someone to talk to, come to me. I understand exactly how you're feeling."