Truth Sets You Free

Chapter 43

I've been sitting on the couch wrapped in Harry's arms for a while. I'm not sure how long we've been here, but I don't want to move. It feels amazing to be here with him. My head is resting on his chest, and the steady beat of his heart gives me proof that he really is here.

In the time that we've been sitting here, I haven't cried. I was right when I said that I didn't have any tears left. But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that means that I finally am moving on.

But I can't do that quite yet. I still don't have all the answers that I need.

"Why did you do it, Harry?" I ask, keeping my face buried in his chest. "Why did you leave me?"

He sighs deeply, running his hand up and down my back, soothingly. "I had to, baby."

With those words, I lift my head slightly so that I can see his face. "Why?"

"Because I realized that blowing up the building wasn't going to end things for me." He explains. "It would end things for you, but there were so many things that happened to me that night that weren't just gonna go away. I killed your brother, Bella. I killed my father."

His voice breaks over those last four words, and my heart shatters.

"I needed time to get through all of that. A lot of time, but I didn't want to hold you back. I've been holding you back ever since we met, and I couldn't do it anymore." He continues, and I can tell that he's starting to get emotional. "It killed me. Walking away from you killed me, but I knew that it was the only way to really save you."

When I realize that he's done talking, I take a moment to process his words before pulling out of his grasp.

"You thought you were saving me?" I ask in disbelief. I don't know what I expected Harry's excuse to be for faking his own death, but this is definitely not what I wanted to hear. "Do you have any idea what you put me through? I thought you were dead, Harry."

"I know—" He nods, but I cut him off.

"I know that what happened that night was hard, but I could've helped you. We could've gotten through it together."

"I was tired of getting through things, Bella. That wasn't enough for me, and it certainly wasn't enough for you. You deserved a real life. A happy life, which is exactly what you got." He tells me, and I scoff, standing to my feet.

"You think I'm happy, Harry?"

"I know you are." He states, standing up as well. "Did you really think that I would be able to just walk away from you? I've been watching you. Keeping an eye on you. Making sure that you found happiness. And you did...with Tyler."

"You've been watching me?" I frown.

"Not all the time, but whenever I could. I just needed to know that you were okay. And when I saw that you were, I tried to keep my distance."

"I wasn't okay, Harry." I snap, throwing my hands up in the air. "What about all the time that you weren't watching me? The time that I spent crying myself to sleep. The time that I spent trying to figure out what I was even living for if I wasn't living for you. The time that I spent completely alone."

I breathe heavily as Harry watches me.

"Because I was completely alone, Harry." I lower my voice. "You left me all alone."

"I'm so sorry, baby." His voice breaks as he takes a step closer, but I take a step back.

"No." I whisper, holding my hand up to stop him. "Not right now. I just...I need a minute."