Dear Dr.Hoying

part sixteen

*slight trigger warning!*

I ran. Far. I had no idea where I was going and I didn't care. I didn't want anyone to find me, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't even want Scott to find me. I kept running, not paying any attention to where I was or where I was running to. As I ran, I looked at my wrists, ripping off the hospital band and crying in pain as the plastic from the band brushed over the cuts on my wrists, but that didn't stop me from running. I didn't turn back, nor did I ever want to.
As I ran, many thoughts flew threw my mind. Many bad ones, some good ones. The thought of all my friends that probably think I'm dead... My parents probably hate me, and my sister could care less. I missed my cat, and my own bed. I missed playing the piano and dancing in my room. Alone. Where no one would judge me, or yell at me for doing wrong things. I just wanted to be normal again.
I passed by many people who gave me dirty looks, and were shocked. One even stopped and asked me if I needed help. Of course, I told her no. I don't need help. I need to be alone. Alone forever. I never want to be helped again. I don't need it.
I felt my heart racing, and my eyes water. I guess thinking about all these things, plus running isn't really a good idea but, who cares?
No one cares. My family doesn't care. Those nurses never cared. And Scott... He.. He cared... I stoped to look around, and when I did my heart dropped. I had no idea where I was and what way I came from.
I backed up against a wall, finding an empty, dark alley way. I slid down the wall, putting my head in my knees and started to cry. I was panicking, I didn't know where I was and I knew that no one would ever find me. But that's what I wanted, right?
"I-I'm so fucking stupid..." I said outloud. "F-fucking useless p-piece o-of s-shit..." I mumbled. I picked my head up from my knees and found that I was shaking. I groaned and hit my head on the back of the wall. "I-I hate myself!" I screamed, starting to cry again. "Those f-fucking doctors think I was f-fucking p-physco?!" I said, laughing while I cried. "W-We'll h-how a-about n-now?!" I said, yelling more, and crying harder.

thanks so much for 4k!! i'll update again soon :)