Lights like Stars [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 1

I didn't have a gun and I didn't know how to buy one or how to use one, but even if I had one that's probably not how I would've killed myself. I never fired a gun before and didn't want to mess it up. Knowing me, I probably would just blow off one side of my face but not die so then I would be in the hospital, everyone would know about it, and I would have to go to some asylum to get better. Pills also weren't an option because I've always struggled with swallowing pills, like even one small ibuprofen I struggled with. Plus I didn't know the best pills to take to kill myself or how much, and I didn't want to have to google any of that. Cutting my wrists was also definitely not an option. I didn't want it to be painful. Jumping off of a bridge or building was the same - too painful probably, and I could also mess it up and possibly survive it.

I contemplated how to kill myself as I sat on the end of the bed, the city lights of Medellin, Colombia outside my window. It was a beautiful view, the lights like stars. Yesterday we went up to the top of the mountains that surrounded the city and the city was like the night sky. The way the stars faded in with the city lights - there was no horizon. Garrett stood on the edge of the cliff, staring at the lights like stars, and that's when I knew I wanted his body against mine, his lips to kiss mine. The city lights were beautiful on their own. He was beautiful on his own. The two combined was something. I even took a picture of him, but tried to play it off by taking a lot more pictures of other people even though his photo was the most beautiful.

That was yesterday, when I didn't know about the events that would follow, when I didn't know I would indeed have his body against mine, his lips against mine. 

We all arrived back to the hotel, "we" being the entire marching band as we were going to be marching in the Feria de las Flores parade in a few days. That night we were able to go to the bars. We went to Parque Lleras via taxis, a little plaza where a few bars were. Garrett went with some saxophone players, since before he was a drum major he was in the sax section. I went with the trumpets because before I was a drum major I was in the trumpet section. We went to a discoteca called Gusto, which was a club like none I had ever been to. I had three sex on the beaches and one mojito, so I don't remember going back to my room but one of my friends got me there. I vaguely remember the taxi ride back and falling down the stairs.

Everyone had one roommate for the trip, sharing a double bed. Garrett and I, being the two male drum majors, were voluntold to be roommates. Everyone knew Garrett and I weren't exactly buddy-buddy, but after that night they started to believe we were enemies. 

I woke up at six in the morning, having only been asleep for maybe four hours, but the alcohol wore off and I didn't have a hangover. I did have the runs though, and I cleared my whole system in one go. I decided to take a shower for the sake of being clean, and by the time I was done Garrett's alarm went off and he was doing his morning stretches. I swear he was the type of person who ran on just four hours of sleep. We didn't have to be awake for quite a while. I was in just my boxers, watching him stretch his toned body.

He looked at me as he touched his toes, and said, "Morning," with his wolf-like smile.

I didn't say anything, but I threw my clothes next to my suitcase and sat on the bed. I watched him get up and extend his arms above his head. He was almost standing on his toes, with such impressive balance. He heaved a sigh, glowing in the dark light. He jumped onto the bed next to me, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Are you feeling okay? You were pretty far gone last night," he said.

"Yeah," I said. "Did I wake you? Or were you not back yet?"

He smiled up at me, his teeth so white I thought they could be fake. "No. I was back but I was still awake. I helped you get to bed and what not."

"Oh...thanks."