Never have I Ever

ch 13

School. Five letters I hate. Lifelessly, I sat on the bench with my friends. They were chit chatting like normal. It was good so that they didn't notice my slightly puffy eyes.

"And he was like, 'Ahh!'" Alison laughed along with Sabrina about a video they watched on kpop. Bekka sat besides be silently.

"Are you ok?" She quietly asked me.

"Yeah." I lied but Bekka knew me too well.

"What's wrong?" Bekka tilted my chin up so she could see my face. I shut my eyes.

"You cried." It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded. 

"Alan." Bekka stood up, fists clenched. I pulled her down, "Don't make a scene." I yanked her arm and clung onto it. Bekka had a furious look in her eyes.

"Don't even bother telling me to do what. He hurt you. It's not everyday you cry. He's gonna get it that piece of..." Bekka spoke in a low voice and tooka deep breath at the end to refrain cussing. 

My eyes begged her to understand, "Please don't tell anyone."

"But I will kill him." Bekka swore.

"It's not his fault." He left me and yet here I was, defending him. In the movies, they say that people have a painful crack in the heart when they lose the one they love, but I didn't get that crack. I was just guilty, sad and pained. 

"My ass," Bekka's fierce loyality touched me. Sabrina tilted her head and turned to us, "What happened?" I blew a huge sigh.

"Nothing." Bekka forced a cheery smile on.

"Nothing? But you don't walk around everyday saying 'my ass'," Sabrina pointed out.

"Is this about Alan?" Alison looked troubled. Bekka turned to me. I shut my eyes, they were my best friends, I would tell them.

"Alan and I broke up." I said all in one breath.

"HE WHAT!? OOOOH I'M GONNA BEAT HIM UP!!!" Sabrina glared at the yard, her eyes looking for him. Alison and Bekka exchanged a glance. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Alan walk into school as though nothing happened. I diverted my eyes.

"Oh he's gonna die." Bekka and Sabrina stood up and took a couple of steps that way.

"Wait. He's coming here." Alison stopped them. I lifted my head and sure enough, he was walking this way. God I wish I had glasses like Bekka or Alison so I could hide my eyes.

"Oh how dare he even show his face?" Sabrina was absolutely enraged. Alan approached our table, his head down, hands in pocket. 

Seeing Bekka and Sabrina's faces, Alison turned to me, "Shit's gonna go down." I nodded in agreement as Alan looked at them.

"What do you want?" Bekka asked in the coldest voice I've ever heard. I saw Alan gulp.

"Look, I know you guys are mad at me for whatever I did to your best friend but it's not what it seems to be." Alan said this to Bekka and Sabrina but I couldn't help but notice it was directed to Sabrina. His eyes pleaded with her.

"I'm giving you 30 seconds to explain yourself." Alison broke in. Alan turned to her and bowed his head before continuing.

"She cheated on me. I saw her on a date with Louis Tomlinson, they were both lying on the grass, looking pretty romantic." I blushed at those words. Romantic huh? Wait why was I blushing?????

"She did not." Bekka crossed her arms.

"That's a lame excuse," Sabrina examined her nails. Alan seemed to droop at her words. Alison jumped infront of Alan an pushed him away, "Time's up! Wasn't sastifying!" Alan pouted and left. I lifted my head and watched him go.

"And I'm going to use the restroom." Sabrina excused herself and left. Alison and Bekka both looked at each other again and turned to me. What's up with the secretiveness?

"We have some stuff to tell you." Alison sat down besides me. 

"Alan doesn't like you. He never did." Bekka sure never beat around the bush. Alison sympthetically nodded. The words hit me like a cold splash of water. He never liked me. I didn't understand.

"Then why'd he even date me?" I probably looked so lost right now.

"He likes Sabrina." Alison replied in a 'duh' voice. I blinked and it hit me. I instantly knew it was true.

"But that doesn't have to do with me?" I wasn't getting it. The puzzle pieces weren't fitting in.

"He wanted to get closer to Sabrina. And I know he broke up with you to get Sabrina's sympathy. Didn't work." Bekka victoriously grinned. My heart lifted. It was good to know I didn't hurt anyone and, I guess I never really did like Alan because the so called pains I had dissipated.

"You ok?" Alison intensely watched my face.

"Yeah. But he didn't have to use me." I shrugged.

"Sabrina's wiping her hands!" Bekka informed us.

"Keep this a secret." Alison made me swear on our lives. I chuckled, "Guess that much." 

"Oh yea one more thing, I hope that Sabrina won't actually get with him because...he doesn't really seem like a good guy." Alison finished right before Sabrina came. 

"What you talkin about?" Sabrina plopped down on the other side of me. Bekka covered her eyes from the sun and looked in the direction of the gates, probably hoping someone would come in to distract Sabrina.

"Oh homework." It was the first thing that popped into my mind.

"Pshh. Did you do it?" Sabrina skeptically looked at me. I sheepishly shook my head and Alison laughed.

"Typical." Bekka sighed just as the boys walked in. Harry enthusiastically waved at us and ran over. Liam was right behind him. Zayn, Niall and Louis were strolling in as though they couldn't care less of the world It was my turn to gulp and bite my lip. Louis. How was I going to approach him now? He wasn't that bad of an enemy now, it was just, our new friendship seemed so delicate, I'd hate to disturb it. Then again, hadn't I done so already?