Title: Love is just a word
Author: Starstrukk22
Rating: 6.5/10
Status: Work in Progress
Authors Description: Melody Clark has escaped from her physically abusive father and mentally abusing mother. Now she is living with her Grandmother Mae, who is more than willing to take the young girl in. With memories constantly bothering her, will Melody be able to continue her life and forget about the past? Will she ever learn how to love someone and trust them completely?
My review of the story:
So far it is about a girl who is child abused but it ends up being a dream, so i'm not sure if she is child abused or not. But so far I'm confused.
My Thoughts:
Love the concept, I love reading stories with the theme of child abuse and how it's such a wrong thing. But I think the descriptions here are average and could be improved. Despite it only being a page I would have liked to see atleast 2 to 3 pages and much more detail. The details seem so raw and incomplete. Try reading out your story to yourself and see how it sounds. The grammar here is insufficient but I think this story has potential, so don't give! Also allow the reader to connect with the characters a little more, get into her thoughts, how she feels, what disturbs her the most. It also lacks a link to the audience, theres no cliff hanger and nothing that drags out to the audience. I liked the beginning of the story but then when i found out it was a dream I was lost. Is it real or not? You have to make that visible in your writing. More description is needed, much more than what you already have ! Right now all I can tell about this girl is that she is child abused and that's it. And back to my original point, One page is NOT enough. You have talent but you need to build on it a little more.
Pointers to Audience:
- An average story so far but not the kind of story you can full get into when it's late at night and you have nothing to do. Also criticism would be help the author reach full potential so help out a bit people :)
YOU ARE READING
WATTPAD'S HIDDEN SECRETS
RandomLooking for something to read? Tired of fake voting? Want your story to be acknowledged for what it is? You have come to the right place. It is my top priority to expose those doing evil on wattpad and bring glory to the thousands of amazing writer...
