Poetry Feelings

twenty-three

some days are easy.
some days i can hold my own hand,
laugh inside my own voice box ,
take bubble baths and not worry
if water will get trapped in my lungs.
some days i don't feel trapped.
some days i know this life is mine,
that i am the only one who is
holding myself back.
some days i'm not as lucky.
and i have to drive around the block
until i remember that all of this is real
some days i am caution tape
and warning signs, sorry eyes and
rotting lies, breathing love notes into
my bloodstream to melt and frost.
some days i know my worth with no convincing,
but some days i go to bed exhausted from
spending my whole day as a rescue team.
those nights, i can't sleep
with all of the cracks in my eyelids.
those nights, i remember
how big we can hurt,
even when we feel so small.