Once Again

Epilogue - Once Again

Picture: He Wants To FIGHT by Cadavorpse

Once Again

It had been four years since Leo's death, and though Joel still wasn't quite over it - he knew he probably never would be - he was finding light again in the Raider camp, light that had once been given by only one person.

The Raiders accepted him easily as their new leader, even those who hadn't joined his rebellion. He tried his best to be a strong leader, thinking for the group instead of the individual, but he wasn't quite used to it yet. There wasn't much to rebuild, and yet it felt like there was a mountain of things to do. And of the sixty or seventy Raiders that had been there before, twenty one of them had been killed. Nobody was quite the same.

Brendan had helped him quite a bit, though it was mostly just to distract himself from Alyssa's death, and now they were starting plans for a sort of council, just like their original plan had been. Joel didn't like having all the power. He wasn't some mighty king or ruler. He was just himself.

The others had gotten along quite well - even Noise, who'd been rather reluctant to help do anything. He had a permanent limp now, as his leg had been horribly fractured in the fight years ago, but it had taught him about humility. It was okay to get help from someone else, especially if he was unable to do it himself.

Everyone had a place now - everyone except Isaac.

The Shifter didn't know what to do with himself after his outburst those years ago. Joel thought that maybe he was ashamed for becoming such a monster. He was afraid of changing again. He stayed to himself and rarely spoke, and though he had smiled before his family's death, he never smiled now. In fact, he rarely showed any type of emotion, whether it be happiness or sadness.

It was late one night when he approached him. Joel was laying outside of his tent, unable to sleep and staring at the stars, picturing a better world for Leo, when he heard light footsteps come near him. He sat up and looked over to see the Shifter coming toward him. "Hello, Isaac," he said. "What are you doing up so late?"

Isaac shrugged and sat down next to him, rubbing his jaw. He hadn't shaved in a while, Joel noticed, and had spiky stubble on his face that made him look older than he really was. They sat in silence for a long, peaceful moment. "I have a question," he finally said.

Joel could remember when he was always bursting with questions. His heart ached as he missed those old times. "Alright. Ask away."

"Do you need me here?"

The question took him by surprise. He wanted to say that he did, but he knew Isaac would only ask why, and he didn't have an answer to that. Instead, Joel thought hard. "Do you want to be here?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"We'll always have a place for you, as long as you want it." Joel looked up at the sky, wondering if he really could find a place for this misfit.

"I'm thinking about leaving," Isaac said, once again taking him by surprise.

"Where would you go?" he asked.

The Shifter shrugged. "Somewhere."

Joel watched him for a moment. "You want to find yourself, don't you?" Isaac glanced at him, but didn't answer. "You don't have to know who you are at nineteen, Isaac."

"I don't know. It seems like everyone else knows. Why don't I? I thought I knew who I was, but after the death of Braken and Alyssa ..." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"You really miss them, don't you?" Joel murmured.

He nodded, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I feel like I should have gotten over it long ago, but ... I just can't. I can't stop thinking about them. They occupy my every thought, my waking moments, my quiet dreams ..." He sighed and ran his hand through his long auburn hair. "Maybe I'll get over it if I leave. Run away."

"If you want to leave, I won't stop you," Joel said gently. "But always know that you'll have a place here, if you ever decide to come back."

Isaac sighed softly again, and then his eyes sparkled as an idea must have come to him. "I remember I met a guy when I jumped realities. He called himself Phantom. You told me about him, remember? A long time ago. I think I'll go back to him. He seemed to know exactly what to say. Maybe he can help."

"You sound too old for your age," the leader teased. "Going off on some mighty adventure to find your identity."

"I guess that's what happens when you're faced with a life like ours." Now, he dropped his eyes down again. "You grow up too fast."

"Well," Joel said, sighing as he stood up. "I'll miss you, Isaac."

The Shifter climbed to his feet next to him and gave him a rare smile. "I'll miss you, too, Joel. Until we meet again?" He held out his hand.

Joel shook it firmly. "Until we meet again."

Then Isaac stepped back, closed his eyes, and vanished into thin air.

Joel stayed staring at the place where he'd been, as if he'd magically pop back into existence, but he never did. Eventually, he turned to reenter his tent.

"Now that he's gone, I can finally start where I left off," a voice said, and before Joel could even process what it meant, he felt a burst of pain in his chest as something shot through his limbs, across his body, and took control of his movements, moving him as easily as a child moved their doll.

Joel instantly went into a panic, trying to pull himself back as dusted his hands on his pants and took a deep breath of fresh air. What was happening? He couldn't move himself. He couldn't talk. He could barely even think. "What's going on? Who are you?" he screamed silently, the pain stabbing through his heart. He tried to take his body back again, but he was completely helpless.

"You, of all people, should know who I am," Solar said.

The End