Deadly In Love (A JB fanfic)

Chapter 43

(Justin's pov)
Dammit! What did I do? why did I let her slam the door like that? "I told you! You never loved her anyways!" My conscience gives me the feeling of being incapable of loving someone. And it pisses me off.
"Fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone!" I pull my hair and bang the dashboard. What do I do? It's been 10 minutes since Christie left. I shouldn't have yelled at her. I wish I could get her back, and say I'm sorry. I know what I did was stupid, but she doesn't get it. Drugs are more to me than just money. They help my forget about the world. They help me let out my anger. But they are nothing compared to Christie. She's the world to me. I need to get her back.

It's already 7pm, and it's starting to get dark. I start the car and drive around the streets. After about 15 minutes, I sigh, then light a cigarette to calm my nerves. It keeps me from getting frustrated about not finding Christie. After calming down a little, I take a deep breath, then drive around some more, looking carefully for her.
(Christie's pov)
I'm so miserable. My body is sore, my hand hurts, my knee is killing me, the side of my face hurts along with my head. I'm cold, I'm lost, I'm scared, I'm tired. I'm just sitting here, under a highway bridge, alone. It's dark and cold, but it's the safest place to go when there's people looking for you. Maybe it's not, but I'm too tired to walk anymore. I start crying in my hands, shaking and trembling in misery. Then I hear a honk, so I back deeper under the bridge. Someone gets out of the car, and I begin to get scared. The guy starts to walk closer to me, and I start to panic, hiding my sobs. Before I can even try to get away, he hugs me tightly. He smells of smoke, cologne, and marshmallows. It's Justin.
"I'm sorry," he whispers sweetly. I don't want to talk to him right now, so I don't hug him back. He pulls me towards him, but I'd rather stay here than go with him and hear him apologize, like nothing happened.
"Christie, please forgive me. You mean everything to me. I need you here baby. Please Christie, I love you." His face is hard to make out because of how dark it is, but I can tell he's sincere. I give in and follow him back to his car. His arm wraps around me before we get inside.
"Are you ok baby?" Justin turns on the car light to study me. I can see how much of a mess he is right now, with his wild hair and chapped lips.
"I'm fine," I hide my face with my hair. "You sure babe?" he gives me a concerned look.
"Yeah, just take me back. I'm tired," I lean back and cover my head with my hood.

The confidence in myself has gone away. It's sucks that I was so close to making Justin happy, but Stephanie and the way Justin treated me earlier made me give up. It's like the good times get me so high it feels like I'm happy to be alive, an I have hope. But when the bad times occur I sink lower than I was before.

Justin does what I ask, and once he pulls into his apartment, I step inside.
"What took you guys so long? It's 10pm," Khalil call out to me from the kitchen. "Ask Justin"
I walk into his room without another word. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I don't know if I should be mad at Justin, or happy that he came back for me. All I know is I'm overwhelmed.
When I get out of the shower, I spot purple hand marks on my wrist from where Stephanie grabbed me today. I don't wanna tell Justin. There's not much he can do. Plus, he'll just tell me to get over it. He doesn't get it. I can't just get over it. It's been 12 years of going through hell, and I still can't get over it. It's been days of Justin doing drugs, and I still can't get over it. After I dry off, I change into more comfortable, less worn out clothes. When I step out, Justin's sitting, shirtless on the bed. I'm about to bury myself in bed when he stops me. "I'm tired," I grumble miserably. "I know, but let me just help you," Justin holds my hands in his, making me wince a little from the hard fall earlier.
"I don't need help," I stare at the floor even though he knows I'm in pain. "Christie, I want to help you," Justin examines the hand that I fell on. "Stop," I pull it away, but he stubbornly pulls it back. "What do you want me to do?" he sighs, sounding regretful. To be honest, I don't know. I just want someone who actually loves me. He really hurt my feelings earlier.
"I don't know," I shake my head, still staring at the floor.
"Then let me at least try to help you," he sounds apologetic, and the regret on his teeth assure me. "What do you wanna help me with?" I sigh in exhaustion. "You look hurt babe." "Probably because I am," I finally look at him. I haven't looked in his eyes since we fought earlier. His arms lift me up and carry me to the restroom. Justin sits me on the bathroom counter, and his fingers lift my chin to study my face. My back still hurts from the fall today, and I accidentally wince. His attention on my face vanishes. "What hurts babe?" he asks me, trying to make me look at him. "Nothing." That's probably the most obvious lie in the world. Justin sighs desperately, then shifts his eyes back to my face. In the middle of his observation, my eyes shift to him, and he looks back. His hands cup around my face while he just stares at me.
"You know that's lie." His finger trails down my jaw line and over my tearstained cheek.
"My head hurts," I open up, not giving him anything else. Justin reaches in the cabinets and hands me a bottle of pain pills.
"What else?" he questions generously. "I'm tired," I repeat the words I said earlier. "Hold on babe," Justin opens a band-aid, and places it on my knee, which I see is all scraped up. Then he lifts my hand and rolls up my sleeve. Uh oh, I forgot about the hand marks. Justin's eyes immediately land on the hand marks rather than my scraped hand. "What happened?" he breathes guiltily yet concerned. "This girl I know. We got in a fight," I lie, even though it makes me look pathetic. "Why?" Justin's stare is so intense, I feel my heart racing. "She hates me," I narrow my eyes as Justin pulls me close. "She hates you?"
Justin's Canadian accent dissolves in my words. "Yeah. Doesn't everyone?" I roll my eyes like it's nothing, even though it isn't. "No, baby that's not true. Everyone loves you." Of course he disagrees with me. "Well, not her." "Fuck her. Nobody gives a shit about her opinion." Justin saying that about Stephanie makes me giggle; then Justin pulls me closer, and the air becomes thick.
"Christie, I'm sorry for everything. I shouldn't have said that to you. You don't deserve to go through this," Justin apologizes in my neck.
"It's ok. It's kinda my fault too," I lie to make him feel better.
"No it's not. Don't argue about it," he hugs me tight and warmly. "Ok," I hug him back until he finally lets go. Justin finally lifts me back up and carries me to the bed. It feels so good to lie down next to him. I rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arm around me.

(A/N: I had the worst day today. So we do this thing in Word History where we all have to sit at a table and discuss the reading. Basically we learn by talking it out. The teacher grades you by how much you talk, and for me that's really hard because I can't just blurt stuff out. I get so anxious and overthink stuff, so I ended up not saying anything; then the teacher gave me a freakin 0 as a grade! Plus she'll probably talk to me about it next class. I'm just so upset because I've been trying so hard to be more social, and it never pays off. Now I have to explain to the teacher that it's my anxiety, not that I don't do the reading. How am I supposed to do that?😔😣😪 anyways, hopefully things won't be so bad. You guys have a good rest of the week, and next post is on Friday/Saturday)