Eastern District School

Chapter 44 - Planning a pain

Despite it being nothing to do with the cafe, she just wanted to get out of 'Penny's'. Feeling overwhelmed as she was, the seclusion was now making her feel claustrophobic, and the overpowering need to escape overcame her. 

She glanced down at her now shaking hands, barely able to comprehend what she had just read. These trembling hands had held on to that letter that she had instantly dropped to the table as though it had struck her with all the venom of a poisonous snake, and before her own...no doubt the hands of its author...her father. The sound of her lungs breathing in and out was suddenly the only sound she could here, and the erratic beat of her heart had to be evidence that she had been struck with a knife. Whatever else could explain the reason why her chest ached so? 

She wasn't even sure when her sobs had started to emit freely, and she cursed herself for being this weak in front of Rich, and away from home. She wasn't behind closed doors here, she was in Penny's cafe. Goodness knows what she was thinking right now, and Rose didn't raise her eyes to find out either. Instead, she stood up, pushing the letter towards Rich. This instantly brought the look of panic to his face. She pulled her hand sharply away from the letter, in the same way she had just moments before, but bringing it straight to her chest, as she held the invisible burning ball there. She started to move away from the table, intending on paying the bill and exiting as quickly as possible.

To her surprise, which didn't shake her mood at all, Rich stood, side-stepping away from the table to almost stand in front of her. Was he really going to stop her? She thought. Would he rather see her distressed face, the pained look in her eyes, which was obviously there? To add to her surprise, Rich simply held his car keys up in front of her. Yet, she was rooted to the spot. 

There was a gentle sigh that passed his lips as he grabbed her hand and put the car keys in the palm of her hand. "Go and get in the car Rose, I'll grab these papers and meet you out there!" His face so strained with worry, his features added to the already serious look and air he had about him. The 'authority' look? she wondered, not having gazed upon him long enough to come to a conclusion about his current emotion.  He squeezed her hand tight around the keys in her hand, almost begging for her to look up at him. "Just don't drive off without me, I'm rather fond of that car!"

His pitiful attempts to drag out of her, any humorous side, were almost laughable. As if she could concentrate long enough on anything right now...

Instead, without any eye contact, she nodded in between her sniffling sobs and walked past him towards the cafe door. 

As she walked, she could feel Penny's eyes on her, and her few steps towards the door felt like a thousand, all of which in slow motion as she walked the length of the cafe. The only drawback to wanting to sit so far away from the entrance, was that the entrance and exit were the same door. Had she intended walking or running out in an emotional explosion, she would have sat closer. There was always next time?

In almost a trance, she made her way to his car outside. Had she not been in the state she was, she most definitely would have noticed the fact that Billy had worked his usual magic on the body work. Washed and waxed bodywork. the alloys almost shining in the sunlight. But alas, Rose was not in the right frame of mind to be able to commend Billy, had she even seen. She unlocked the car with the button on the key, and slid into the passenger seat. As soon as she closed that car door, she screamed. 

Yes, she actually screamed!

Rose Johnstone. Trustworthy, reliable, eager, creative, calm, composed, strong Rose Johnstone had been reduced to this? Why? Certainly not because she realised her life was surrounded by lies! Certainly not because her mother and everyone who loved her had been lying to her all these years! Certainly not because she had been robbed a life of knowing two amazing people who were her grandparents, and denied their love. Certainly not because her father...the one she tried so often to remember: to imagine how he used to tuck her in bed, how he used to push her on the swings...this man who had written such a love-filled letter, that had probably never in time reached her mother, had just sat in her own hands.

How did his hands feel when he would wipe a tear from her small face? How he held her little body close. A kiss goodnight? She had missed so much. She had been denied so much! 

What was initially shock? Pain? Had now changed to anger once again. A letter her mother had no doubt never read? She thought. Could she shock her into admittance? Could she force her mother into telling her the truth, the whole truth? Her mother never really was any good at bedtime stories, she thought, but then her whole life was one created story.

Her sobs had stopped, she realised. As soon as anger started settling into her heart, a calmness came over her. She was so calm in fact, that when Rich opened the drivers door, she let out a little shriek as she jumped in her seat. 

"Sorry." he said softly as he slid into the car beside her. He reached behind her to put his briefcase before he shut his door. 

Rose didn't appear to hear him. Her eyes followed his briefcase as her head turned to look over her shoulder. She knew what she wanted to do, and the main reason had to be that she wanted to hurt her, in an attempt to get the truth she so desperately wanted. 

"Rich I need that letter!" she said simply. Her voice sounding eerily calm for a woman who minutes before had been screaming and sobbing. 

Rich's head almost snapped as he turned back to her. "What? No way! I saw how that just got you worked up right now!"

She could see his face this time, he was worried, she knew. How she knew? Well she didn't want to try to work that out right now. Being around each other all week, had obviously given them a closer perspective of each other. He was the same with her, that was for sure!

She shook her head. "It's not for me. I need to show my mother that letter!"

Rich's eyes almost fell out as he stared at her, eyebrows risen too. She was surprised that he managed to actually keep his mouth from falling open in shock. "You want to show your mother that letter?"

Wasn't that what she had just said?

"Yes. Rich...I don't think she has ever seen that letter! I was hoping if she saw that, I might be able to break her down. She would have to tell me something after that. Wouldn't she?"

It had sounded like a plan in her own mind, and a good plan at that. Now, however with Rich staring back at her, now with his mouth open too, she was beginning to think otherwise. 

There was a pause between them, and Rose really wasn't sure whose turn it should be to speak.

"You want to break your mother?"

Sure, why did he have to put it like that?

"No I don't want to break her Rich. I want to shock her. I want her to be so caught up in all the lies that she's ever told me, that she HAS to tell me the truth." The strain was starting to show in her voice. 

"And you think by showing her letter, she'll do that? You think that the letter will have such an emotional force on her, like it did to you, that she'll break down and admit she's been lying for whatever reason?"

Did he have to make her sound like the bad guy?

"Have you got a better plan?" she asked sarcastically.

There was another pause, before a slow broad smile formed across Rich's face.

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A/N: Hi all, I'm so sorry it's been such a long time for posting, so this will be one of a few over the next couple of days.

Being ill sucks. Resting wasn't even helping, but almost back to normal...whatever that is.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and commenting. I love to hear how you think things are going to play next. 

Enjoy. 

Emaleen

#SpontaneousEm