Eastern District School

Chapter 61 - Catching a breath

She couldn't be living this moment. She closed her eyes, hoping that maybe, just maybe she was still asleep in the comfortable guest bed of Abel Pastor, dreaming. Although this was clearly a nightmare not a dream. She would wake up. Yes! She would wake up after the rest of the household, come downstairs in her new pyjamas and have a delicious breakfast cooked by Sarah. She wouldn't still be stood outside a private hospital room, with a full view inside, as the nurses and doctors worked on that strong woman who had only recently came into her life. She wouldn't be pulled so close to Rich, that she could feel the pulse of his heart beating into her back. She wouldn't be feeling how tense his chest felt, or how his breathing altered erratically in her ear. As she looked to her right she wouldn't see Rich's parents embraced in a shared silence.

A time for no words!

However, she was here! His parents too. She looked around, a thought occurring to her then. It was not exactly all the family here. His brothers and their partners were nowhere to be seen. Had they already been? Rich had said that she had been waiting for her. Had she been asking for her? She had only know this woman a matter of days, yet Jennifer had been waiting for her? It was true that she believed Rose to be her grandmother, yet she had not seen her for a few years until earlier this week when Rich took her with him to see Jennifer. Since then, apparently, Rose had never been far from Jennifer's thoughts or conversation. 

'Told you she was beautiful...'  she had said to Martha.  You were the beautiful one, Rose thought. 

"Was she in pain?" Rose asked suddenly in the silence that was between them. The murmurs of the staff around them seemed just a distant drone. "She was just talking...just fine!" her voice was barely a whisper. How can anyone be so there one moment and gone the next.

"They were giving her morphine!" Rich said simply. 

As Rose watched, the doctors in the room seemed to slow down. She already knew what was happening. She had known somehow, as she stood there at her bedside. There were no words to express. She watched as one doctor slowly turned around, pulling the gloves from his hands and throwing them into the sanitised bin in the room. He was aware of their watchful gaze, but kept his head low, until the door was opened for him by another orderly. He stepped out of the room, and lifted his head to the four of them, swapping his gaze from each in turn. 

What a job! The thought of what a doctor's job just entails flashed into Rose's mind. It wasn't just the saving of lives, the fixing of bones, and cleaning of wounds. Some wounds had to be reached in another way. These wounds could not be healed by doctors. As the doctor's eyes flashed to her own momentarily. His deep blue eyes, cold with the news he carried.  It was his job, but they all knew he didn't have to speak. She didn't want him to say the words. She was afraid to hear. 

She tried to pull away from Rich, but he still held her this way, with his arms around her shoulders. She couldn't turn, not wanting to cause a scene and because he generally was holding her so tight. So she only imagined what his face may reveal now. Riddled with grief, hiding his face from her in this way. 

"Mr Stork?" the doctor said, aiming his words towards Thomas, but still flickering his glance to and fro from Rich to his father.  "I'm afraid she's gone this time."

His words although spoken softly seemed rather peculiar to Rose. This time? Her eyes somewhat sore from the exposed tears, she didn't see every look locked up in that doctor's eyes. Nor Thomas now, but she sensed an atmosphere, and that familiar feeling of just not being wanted. She tried to pull away again, ignoring the doctor and Thomas Stork now, but Rich still didn't budge.

"Rich I need the toilet!" she stated, slightly louder than she had originally wanted. It was as thought Rich hadn't even noticed his stance. He suddenly dropped his arms, as though he thought he were hurting her.