Nightmare Called Veronica Aldean

Chapter 10

I'm Really Here.

I found myself not caring about really anything. I loved myself, nobody else. I was perfect the way I was, alone.

I turned out my light, and sat on my bed staring at the knife in my hand and the dim light given by the cracks of the blinds. I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I saw was a dark room with only dim moon light shining through the cracks of my blinds. I checked my phone to see what time it was.

1:30A.M

I found my knife under my blankets and put it under my pillow before Mason would see it and take it away.

I felt the cuts on my face once more before I put on my crimson hoodie and put the good on covering my cuts with its shadow. I wanted to hide them from people who I knew would protest. Me being in a hoodie like this wouldn't surprise Mason at all because he knows that when I'm feeling down and sad I wear my hoodie with the hood coving my face with its shadow. After that, I sat on my bed and waited. I don't regret the life I had, but I regretted every last thing that I ever did to anyone to make them feel like complete crap, and when I knew that this damn nightmare had done it to me and I finally accepted the real cold fact, I realized what I had to do. Make myself a walking hell to everyone who crossed me. I heard my door slightly open followed my two soft knocks, Mason. I knew it was Mason because my mother wouldn't do that even if it was for a piece of the rarest pie in the damn world. I hid my face with the shadow of my hood.

"Can I come in?" Asked Mason.

"Yea.." I said softly.

Sat on my pillow so Mason wouldn't even go near the knife. Mason sat on the opposite side of my bed, and started talking.

"I'm sorry I broke out like that at you..I just.."

"Didn't care.." I said in almost a whisper.

"No! It's not that I didn't, it's just that I didn't want to say because it would make you depressed."

"Well you did a pretty damn good job at making that not happen."

"You really want to know, Alayna? It's because I was going to leave you. Yea, I was going to run away if you never woke up because if I didn't I would be reminded of our friendship on the streets we walked together on. I would be a depressed emo that everyone made fun of because I cry."

I was surprised at his answer.

"I didn't realize that you would cry and be depressed because of me..nobody is...ever."

"Well I would..." I could sense the sadness already leaking out of him.

-

You don't care about this pathetic boy!

My mind was playing games and I was eager to join in on the games, but I tried to fight the pressure.

"What where you going to actually come here for?" I asked trying to get away from the madding thoughts in my head.

"I just came to see if you where ok. That's all."

"Oh, ok.."

He doesn't care!!

My mind screamed at me, urging me to play it's little games, yet I still try to fight. We where both met with an awkward silence which only fed my mind more of a chance to make me more eager to spill my blood. I saw that Mason was looking at me with a face of concern, I was scared he could see the bloody slits in my face.

"Are you ok, Alayna?"

"Just..fine.."

"You don't seem 'just fine', Alayna. You're more quiet than usual and your hiding your real emotions from me."

"What if I always do that? What if I'm just a depressed little girl who can't take care if herself?"

"Alayna.." Mason said my name with such concern I felt bad..but not until my thought interrupted my fading feelings towards my real life.

He's doesn't care about you! He just want you to feel bad for him, kill him.

Kill him now.

I felt my hand creeping under the pillow where I sat reaching for the knife, but didn't notice myself. Soon enough, the knifes handle was in my hand gripped tightly ready to get out from under the pillow and stab Mason right directly in the heart to leave a pool of blood on my bed where I would wash the sheets so nobody would find out about it. I was interrupted by my remaining humanity.

Stop it! Stop please!

My mind told me.

I loosened my grip and pulled my hand out from under the pillow.

"Alayna? Are you listening to me?"

I was pulled out from my daze.

"No..sorry."

"I was asking if you where over the nightmares yet."

As the sound of the words that escaped his mouth, I almost pounced at him in anger, I grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him slightly.

"Don't talk about it! Just don't ever bring it up!" I managed to still hide my face if it's cuts until I started crying at the thought of all the nightmares.

My tears ran down my face and it stung my cuts as the droplets of my sadness seeped into the cracks of the madness creeping into me. I touched my cuts and felt the sting rise at the interaction and let out a whisper saying,

"Ow.."

I thought that Mason didn't hear me, but I was wrong.

"Ow?" Why did you say ow? And why are you crying?"

"Mis-reaction, and don't you know? Your the only one who even cared to pay attention to what was going on with me!"

The thought of him not even knowing why I cried broke my heart. He was my only friend left and he didn't even know. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I buried my face in my knees and silently cried. I felt Masons hands reach for my hood and pull it off my head, he held my head gently in his hands lifting up to reveal the bloody slits. His eyes widened,

"A-Alayna?! What..did..how?!"

I looked at Mason with a sorrows face,

"I'm sorry..I did this by myself.

"Why Alayna?! Why would you do this to yourself?!"

My eyes full of fear and small droplets of madness.

"I-I don't know!"

A new set of tears came rolling down my eyes and then going into the cuts in my face.

"I can't believe this..."

"I'm sorry.." I said as I put my hood back over letting the shadow of it cover my face once again even though it was already dark. I let my tears stop falling and I wrapped my arms around my knees again.

"I'm sorry..." I said with more sadness, but with no tears. I felt Mason hug me again and I tried to resist, but he wouldn't let me. He hugged me tighter, yet I never ever returned it back to him.

"What where you thinking when you did this?" Asked Mason.

"..Well..I don't think I was thinking at all."

"How could that be? You had to have some sense of motivation for this."

"I don't know.." I answered with all truth.

"I don't know anything that's happening in my life anymore." I said as I unwrapped my arms from my knees and wrapped my arms around Mason instead and closed my eyes revealing nothing but darkness.

"Nothing.."