Orthography

Cat Training

Ninja cats. Ninja cats. Ninja cats. Ninja cats. Ninja cats.

I mean, wouldn't it be awesome?

Oh wait, I think someone already made a movie about that...

-

 "I just...um...love her so much so..."

It appeared that the woman had become teary eyed, but she wanted to leave her be. All she could do then is nod and say, "Yes, I understand," when in truth she couldn't actually.

So this is the beginning of our story. The setting is in a home, walls covered with paintings and quotes that are framed and other pieces of art. It really is a darling little home and would be a very comfortable place to live in. It's only creepy when you're alone, and that's the situation this little lady was in.

Actually, fact is, she isn't alone. She's got that cat, Sophie, with her. The task at hand is spending at least an hour a day with the animal after feeding it and that was all. She even got free reign over the television. The fridge, however, was out of the question. There's no way she would try and take anything from there. Honestly!

Anyhow, she approached the cat once and the owner believed she liked her. Truth is, on the first day she began "cat sitting," her hand was almost scratched and she got an angry hiss. The girl moved fairly quickly and escaped into the TV room for refuge.

So here she is, around 4:06 P.M., watching "Undercover Bridesmaid" on the second day. She was thankful that it was summer, but her body felt so stiff from not doing much exercise. She should have taken action sooner, but she couldn't will herself to when she was enjoying such a hilarious movie while on a comfortable couch.

It couldn't have been any stranger, however. Sophie, that cat, actually approached her! The girl didn't know if she should be scared or happy, but she was very surprised.

"And I thought it was just us pets that were lazy, but yeesh! Aren't you a couch potato, honey."

Scared. She was definately scared. So scared. Scared enough that she jumped up and balanced on the back of the couch and pinned her shoulder blades against the wall. Her eyes were widened in shock and horror at the speaking animal.

"Goodness me your reaction is marvelous! Now, after your balancing act, get down here little lady."

"Cat. Words. Speaking. It. The. Is." She stammered, her mouth opening and shutting robotically.

The cat began stretching out its back and took a comfortable seat on the floor just a few feet from the couch. "My grammar is better than yours and I'm a cat. Sweetheart, just speak!"

She was being lectured too, now. By a cat! It was a cat... A cat.

"Don't tell me I'm speaking to a statue again... Hellooo."

It was true that she was frozen in her high place away from the feline. She didn't want to get anywhere closer to the animal, but she began to figure that she had no other choice. She was definitely losing her mind. Yeah, that was it. That's the reason. Better yet, it could be a dream! She can go along with this! Yeah...

Ever so slowly, she reached her leg out to touch the floor until she stood just inches away from Sophie's claws (paws).

Sophie raised her paw and beckoned the girl down to her level. "Come on. No time to waste."

She laid down on her stomach, propping herself up with her forearms. Staring into the cat's crystal blue orbs, they blinked at each other for a few moments. It wasn't exactly an awkward silence, but it was just plain strange. Her mind was so wrapped in the phenomena. It was intriguing but frightening.

"Plank."

"Pardon?" What on earth was this creature asking her!?

"Plank."

"Woah wait I'm sorry but-"

Sophie's flexible body forcibly curled itself beneath her stomach, her fur tickling at a bare part in her stomach. There was no cheery giggling omitted from the girl's mouth, but a shriek of surprise and her hips picked up into the air.

"Awesome. Hold for two minutes."

"Huh!?"

The entire workout routine continued for another hour and a half. This girl was beat down tired but she was still on her last exercise. Sweat trickled down from her brow, but she didn't have the time to wipe it away and therefore it just dripped down her neck and seeped into the collar of her shirt. The fact that she was listening to the cat's orders was obsurd, but everything about right then was acsolutely bizarre.

"Now we have-"

"Are you kidding me!" She abruptly stopped holding her V-sit and flipped around to glare at the cat, threateningly close to its nose.

"I am sick and tired of all this work you're making me do!"

"Then why did you submit to it?"

"Because...because..."

In the corner of her eye she saw movement from outside the sliding door. With a twist of her neck, her eyes met with those of the gardner's son who was about her age. His hands were gloved and he held a rake in one hand, a strange look crossing his features. He was shaking his head, not in disapproval but in bewilderment. Scratching the top of his head, tousling his jet black locks, he stared down at the cat and then back at the girl.

"Are you... talking... to..." He didn't need to finish because she knew exactly what he was talking about.

It was an abrupt and bold move, but she slid the door open and dragged him inside by gripping onto the front of his shirt; he dropped his rake in surprise while the girl grabbed him. She brought him down to sit next to her and join her in speaking with the cat.

"Tell him that what you've been doing to me was abusive and cruel." She demanded.

"Training is not abusive-"

"It talks!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet and gazing at the cat in wonder with his own custom look of surprise.