"My ZimBoy"

Chapter 4 "Breaking Point" Royal

It's been five years now.

Dusty and I decided to hang out and have a surprise party for my thirty-second birthday. July third. I had changed a lot since my run in with Reginald. I made sure I apologized to him when I got sobered up and completed my rehab. My mother and father were also back in my life. They both saw the destructive path that I've been going down and decided to make me get the help that I so badly needed.

I decided that I had reached my breaking point when I crashed and sent a fourteen year old boy to the hospital because of my drunken rage. His name was Eljin and he was in a coma for two entire months. That was a wake up call for me because I realized I could have killed him. I had to push Zimboy to the back of my mind because my memories of him would cause me to become depressed and push me to alcohol again, and so far my progress was impressive for a person that's harboring so much pain.

In rehab I took the initiative to take my feelings about Zimboy and put them in poems or express them in songs that I've written. Two years ago I had wrote a song and Dusty decided to surprise me by going to a professional studio to record it. It took me a couple of days just to record a verse and a chorus because that particular song was one of the very first things I've written about my true emotions.

After it was completed on my thirtieth birthday, everyone including myself sat around as Dusty turned the volume up on the radio as my song played through the speakers." Royal I'm sorry but I couldn't let this song go to waste, it's so real and filled with emotion. And guess what?! "Tears spilled from my eyes because I never heard the finish product. "It's number three on the R&B charts!" People were clapping and smiling as I ran into the bathroom.

My heart had ached so bad when I wrote that and for me to have come a step closer to closure, hearing that song made me take four steps back. I still thanked Dusty for such a wonderful gift and maybe under different circumstances I would've showed my appreciation in a different way. She understood clearly. I just hope this year be a little more subtle and easy going.

As I waited for everyone to arrive, Dusty and I talked about how I was no longer the sixteen year old that went to public school for the very first time. I was now thirty-two years old and it felt very weird. I sat with both of my hands on the table and almost simultaneously both of us looked at the Three Carat Princess Diamond cut ring on my left ring finger.

"Roy, you don't think it's time you took-"

"Don't Dusty. I'm doing this one day at a time...and I just haven't gotten to that point yet."

She shook her head and walked off. I got through the night fortunately with more laughs than tears this year. The gifts were amazing and the love and warmness that everyone shared was delightful. Reginald and Dev came over to join Dusty and I for a glass of red wine,

"You getting up there ain't it Royce? Won't be long before you be needing a walker to go with them wrinkles."

We all laughed at Reginald's stupidity,

"Yeah but you're the oldest out of the bunch Reg, lets not forget who may need diapers first okay!"

As we share jokes I enjoyed the laughter that filled the air but unfortunately I became tired and called it a night. I gave my hugs and thank you's to everyone that stayed behind and went on my merry way. It was almost 9:00 p.m. I thought about going to the park and waiting for the waterfall and lights but I decided against it because old wounds would potentially become new ones, and I was ready to move on with my life.

My parents had helped me get my own apartment because I couldn't live in the home Zimboy and I once shared. It contained too many memories and my heart just couldn't take it. I had also gotten a job as a Host at my mother's Art Gallery. I was trying to get normality back into the picture because my normality left when my husband did.