After Riginal dropped me off to what used to be my home, I stood outside afraid of going in. I was afraid of all the memories flooding back to me all at once. Dealing with all the other issues I haven't made any time to really think about Royal. I turned the knob and to my surprise the door was open.
I took a deep breath and held it in as I walk through the front door. I instantly felt a wave of sadness overpower my emotions. I exhale deeply as my eyes scanned the photos of Royal and I hanging on the walls. I ran my hand across our wedding photo and smiled. I remembered that moment as if it happened only moments ago. The photographer told us to do something spontaneous so that when we looked at that one photo, only joy would fill out hearts.
I spun Royal around as I gazed into her beautiful green eyes. I lifted her legs and laid her in my arms as we stared at each other smiling. That was a perfect pose and the photographer snapped the picture. I slowly walked around the house smiling and touching everything, feeling that this was the last time Royal and I would ever be connected. Part of me was happy that I didn't get the chance to take her virginity because it would have only added to the pain that we both carried.
After going down memory lane I went through my closet to find something to wear. I was glad that the guard never placed my things in storage. After I got my clothes together I was going to get CB from the hotel she had checked in and ask her to join me for the poetry event. I was in need of a very hot shower so I turned on the hot water in the bathroom and hopped in after undressing. I let the tears that I've been holding in spew from under my eyelids. I was free but I was still losing something that made me feel complete.
I had tried so hard to push her behind me and lock up the memories of her but she kept finding ways into my heart. I loved that girl and there was no way around it and the reality was I needed to let go to let her move on as well as myself. I looked at the wedding band on my finger and let my emotions of the past drown as my tears washed away and down the drain.
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