Reaching Forward | Madoka Magica

A Little Talk

Slowly, I open the door to my house. The light spilling in through the cracks told me that my parents were up, probably waiting for me.

I was right.

"Akira," mother says, arms crossed with a stern facial expression. "Where on earth were you!? You came home late!"

"I was out," I mumble, looking anywhere. Everywhere. Except for her eyes. 

"Akira, your mother and I were so worried," father says. "Why did you come home so late? What's going on?"

When I don't answer, my parents look hurt. That's why I try not to look at them in the eye, though that didn't exactly work out. I couldn't stop myself from looking at them.

"You do realize that you can tell us," mother says softly, taking my hand. I allow her to pull me into her lap, just as we did when I was small. Her scent engulfs me.

"Mom?" I whisper gingerly. "I have a crazy...crazy, unheard of thought. You might think I'm crazy if I ask....but..."

"Yes?" Mother's brown eyes sparkle in the light, and I tear my glance away once more. Father tries to give me a supportive smile, but I do not look his way.

"Am I adopted?" I blurt. The silence that quickly follows causes me to panic. "I mean, I know it's insane....sorry-"

"I think it's time we told you," mother says quietly. "You were adopted. We did not birth you."

"Wh-what?!" I splutter. I guess I really wasn't expecting to hear all this.

This means Akemi was right. That I am just a part of that Madoka character. That the Madoka character is my mother. But how? How could this be?

"Honey, we didn't think we'd be telling you at such a young age," father says gently. "We found you in the streets, after an insane storm."

"We didn't think we would have any children," mother picks up. "So we took you in, and raised you as our own. Never did any other sound bring us as much joy as your laugh."

She was getting teary eyed. I was, too, but not for the same reasons. I was starting to cry because I felt betrayed.

"Akira...we still love you," father says. "You were our first child. You brought us, and still bring us, so much joy."

"B-but your not my parents," I choke, my tears falling and burning like acid. "I am not your child. I am just something you found on the streets."

"Akira-" mother begins, still holding me. I jerk away and get off her, storming to the other side of the room and crossing my arms. More tears dot my bare skin, hot and bitter.

"I think it's time you go to bed," father says softly. I nod and make my way to the staircase, not looking their way. They didn't even bother to talk more about it.

Just as I make it to the top of the stairs, I hear a mournful, choking sob and a deep voice whispering words of comfort.

Then, I walk swiftly to my room.

When I get inside, I throw myself on my bed and pull out my gem. It was slightly darker, with black swirls churning in the inside. It was not as clear as it was when I first received it. I slam it down on my bedside table and curl up.

Why? Why did I let my own selfish wish get the better of me? I honestly think it was better, when I didn't know anything. When I was in the dark.

When I felt like I had a family.

I pull my knees closer to my body, hoping to curl up so much that I disappear. Sometimes, I find myself wishing that. Time, and time, and time again. Never would I think that I would wish it so hard now.

Ironic. I had my wish granted, yet I'm finding myself wishing for more. It was selfish of me, in a way. Completely, utterly selfish.

I can't help but allow my own despairs bury me deeper, and deeper. I was in a grave of dispirited dreams, and was only getting more dirt thrown on me by the second.

A swishing noise comes from behind me, just as the tears begin to fall. I lift my head up, and find Kyubey. His tail flicking from left to right.

"Looks like your Soul Gem needs some assisting," he comments. 

"Go away," I spit, sitting up and pulling my knees to my chest. "Why are you here!? I said go away!!"

My voice cracks periodically, with each and every tear. Kyubey just blinks, and sets a Grief Seed by my Soul Gem, or whatever he called it.

Sniffling, I watch as the darkness is taken from the gem and dissolved by the seed. Kyubey then eats the seed, and I bury my face in my knees.

"Kyubey..?" I mumble, voice muffled by the fabric of my pants. "Did you happen to know a little girl named Madoka?"

"So you found out," Kyubey nods. Apparently, everyone but me knew. "Yes, I knew Madoka. She was naive. She wished the ultimate wish, and created a Soul Gem that could qualify as an asteroid. And even after that, there was always an enemy."

"Oh."

I didn't even know my mother, yet we were talking about her like it was perfectly casual to do so. It was strange to think that way.

But I guess it was just reality.