Obsession (Ayano x Budo)

Chapter 30

Love. Love. Love.

Budo couldn't stop chanting those words over and over again. The words flowed like a rhythmic drum, and Budo matched the beat with the thud of his shoes on the sidewalk. He lifted his head to the trees and watched the emerald bodies of two bird bodies flitter from one tree to the next. Budo smiled airily at them as he continued down the street. The fingers of a sweet, crisp wind played with his hair, and a flush of cold goosebumps erupted along his skin. He suddenly remembered that he wasn't wearing his jacket. But it was okay, because his love, Ayano, was wearing it and had his scent right on her skin. That was more important.

Budo couldn't hold back a stupid grin from spreading on his lips as he became lost in his own memories, those from earlier that morning. The best memories of his life. He was filled from head to toe with utter joy. For the first time, he had the sense of being complete - like a puzzle piece matched with its correct partner.

Finally, finally, after so long... Ayano was within his grasp. His dreams of being with her and loving her were no longer just imagination, but a possibility!

As he strolled down the street back home, he recalled that moment which had only occurred a few, maybe fifteen, minutes ago. When she had hugged him in the parking lot. He would probably remember that moment for the rest of his life. He could still feel his arms and sides buzzing like firecrackers, the feeling of Ayano's warmth still lingering even after some time had passed. His very skin where she had touched stung like acid - like a bittersweetness that couldn't let go, could only lodge deep into his flesh in a lingering, painful joy. All it had taken was a touch.

She had touched him. She'd put her head on his chest. His whole body had been electrified. At the time, he hadn't been able to breathe, conscious of every beat of blood running through his flesh. Every cell of his body was singing and jumping wildly in absolute pleasure. It was ecstasy. Her touch. Since the first day, that had been all he'd ever wanted - to bring her close, to hold her tightly.

At that very moment in time, Budo could have happily died.

But now... a tendril of sickness drifted alongside this sweetness. He'd experienced that complete happiness, but now he was alone again. It only made Budo acutely aware of what he wasn't doing, that he wasn't with her right now. He also knew that the next time he saw her, he wanted much, much more. He wanted to get even closer, so feel this obsessive venom of happiness at its most extreme until he was totally lost in it, until he didn't know who he was anymore.

In the back of Budo's mind, he recognized how dangerous these feelings were. Her touch was like fuel. It would burn him up. It may even kill him. But the question was simple: Did he care?

And the answer was simple too: No, not really.

Budo couldn't stop himself from smiling as he closed his eyes for a brief moment. There, in the darkness of his mind, he saw Ayano - an angel. She had glowing skin as white as snow, radiating like diamonds caught in the sun. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders in a black silk waterfall.

In his mind, she was still walking beside him, not away at home. He saw her turn sideways to smile beautifully at him and reach out a hand towards him. He felt her pale hand gently touch his face, and felt the skin of his jaw and cheek blaze up in response. It felt so real that he could even smell the fresh night air on her, like the smell of rain, carried by an invisible wind.

Budo remembered how she'd put her head right onto his chest, silently. That had been best moment of his life.

He remembered how she'd held onto him with such need. The idea of being needed by Ayano was exciting. It meant that he had finally started that path to a building relationship - the type that he'd wanted initially. One with no killing or force needed. Just a natural development, like two plants left to grow closer and wind into each other over time, as opposed to tying knots with their stems.

This was good. The least emotional or mental damage dealt to her in his attempts to win her heart, the better. Deep down, all Budo wanted was her to be happy. And now that he'd started this path, surely, there was no more need to do anything else? No need to hurt Taro, or ask anymore favors from Info Chan, or try to scheme anymore...

But...

But... Budo didn't actually want to stop. Some part of him was dissatisfied. A part of him was itching, slowly and unbearably softly, and he really, really wanted to scratch it. It was an uncontrollable urge that was whispering at him to stop, turn around, and go back to the hospital. He wanted to go to Taro again and finish what he had started for two reasons. One was that he had promised Taro that he'd be back. The other was perhaps a more sadistic reason.

He just really wanted to watch Taro suffer.

Maybe it was because he felt so motivated and energetic because of earlier this morning, or maybe because something in Budo didn't care any more...

Budo, a smile still playing in his lips, stopped, and then changed his direction.