Obsession (Ayano x Budo)

Chapter 37

I wonder ... How is she going to react?

Budo could almost hear Ayano's thoughts as they strode side-by-side through the withering leaves. She was deep in thought. Watching her out of the corner of his eye, he loved how her face looked so far away, and yet at the same time also so focused, when she was thinking about something important.

Something important. With a jolt, Budo realised that he'd forgotten to buy food for Taro. He glanced sideways, saw Ayano's fixed expression, and knew he'd never be able to ask her to wait for him while he stopped by the shop. Taro would just have to wait. He'd rather let her continue to drift in her own thoughts, if that was what she needed.

That was why he was surprised when Ayano broke the silence.

"Budo," she started, still looking straight ahead, and, for that second when she said his name, Budo forgot to breathe. "How did you know that I asked Info-chan to send the delinquents to hurt you?"

Budo wondered for a second how to phrase his answer, and then immediately came to the conclusion that she would best appreciated the simple, unadulterated truth.

"Info-chan told me," was all he said.

"She told you?" Ayano echoed, a mystified expression resting on her face as they continued walking. "I guess I'll get to ask her myself."

Budo nodded, even though Ayano wasn't looking his way. "Yes, you will."

Step. Step. Step.

The wind picked up. A snake-like breath of cool-air whispered along the back of his neck, and the hairs there prickled as a shiver shot down his spine. Even a gentle breeze like that was like a cold flush down his system. He pulled up the back of his jacket as high as it could go, but it was hoodless and some skin was left bare. Sighing, he submitted to the wind, insteading choosing to consider Ayano's attire pensively. Wasn't her jacket a bit thin?

"Are you cold?" he asked, fully prepared to shrug off his jacket.

"Hmm..." Ayano murmured quietly, and then, "No, not really. I'm just thinking."

Step. Step. Step.

"Uh, Budo. Do you mind if I ask you something else?"

He could tell just from the hesitation in her voice. This was something more personal. The brief flutter of her lashes confirmed this as she thought twice about what she was about to say. For some reason, Budo's heart was triggered, pumping erratically faster, and suddenly he was thinking about brushing closer to her, linking arms with her in this cold, intertwining their fingers in a clasp of warmth...

Budo's silence prompted her question.

"Why aren't you upset with me?" she asked, perplexed, and Budo knew that this was what had been on her mind for the last few minutes. She continued, "I know I would be, if I was in your position, so I just cannot understand-"

Ayano cut herself off with a sigh, shaking her head, and simply waited for Budo's input. Still, she hadn't looked at him yet. Her eyes were set on the road before them.

"I wasn't hurt," Budo answered plainly. "Also, I can understand what you must have been feeling at that point in time. You probably felt like you really needed to protect Taro."

...

Ayano took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. I misjudged you."

And then she lifted her gaze from the ground. As they joined eyes, Budo felt as if her lashes were right in front of his face, her glittering, molten eyes for once not only seeing everything about him, but allowing him to look inward on her. It was as if a huge vortex of whirlpooling silvers and greys was calmly staring at him... Still, silent and overpoweringly breath-taking. But, there it was. For every second he stared into the darkness of her eyes, he could see more and more of the delicate, softer inner part of her was deep within, a part she didn't usually express. The grey ribbons locking that part of her in were becoming looser. Even if she couldn't see it, he could, and inside his chest, he felt his heart flutter in a wonderful way.

"I... hope you can forgive me for how I've treated you, one day," she finished, and broke eye-contact. He saw the tension in her fingers, which were locked tightly together.

"Ayano, you don't have to apologise. I understand your reasons."

She seems dissatisfied with his answer. "It's not just an apology. I'm just trying to say, ah, -" Ayano struggled with her words, and Budo's slowed down his pace. They came to a stop. Budo turned towards her, but Ayano was still half-turned away. Budo saw Ayano cross her arms, hugging herself, and he started pulling off his jacket.

"No, I don't need-" Ayano started when Budo stepped closer, and then gave up as he pulled the jacket over her shoulders. "It really isn't that cold," she defended, even as she grabbed onto the edges of the jacket to pull it closer to her body. She was avoiding looking at him, he noticed, and he took a step back. She sighed and tried again.

"What I'm also trying to say, besides "Sorry", is "Thank you.""

"For what?"

Ayano looked astounded. ""For what?" For cleaning up Osana's body. For not turning me in to the police. For making me lunch. For hugging me when I was sad. For... right now, too - helping me move on, even though I'm making you do something no one should be expected to do. You're helping me, all the time, and I haven't done a single thing for you except make your life difficult. So, before we finish this business with Info-chan... thank you."

Thank you? 

Budo was completely, utterly taken with her. Those words meant a lot, coming from her, and he knew she didn't say them easily. His angel was nervous, and he wanted to close the distance between them. He couldn't even feel his fingers move as they started reaching for her, but he forced them to his sides. So badly, he wanted to just- just... Should he? No. But did he want to? Yes.

"No, I don't really deserve that praise... And anyway, I've also done some bad things. Can you really thank someone who's hurt others?" Well that was an understatement.

"Haven't we both hurt someone?" she responded quietly. "I killed Osana. I tried to kill you too. Anyway, you've never done anything to me that made me threatened. I feel like I can trust you."

Trust me? Budo's body felt unthinkably light. Every word that she said was a feather brushing the inside of his stomach. He started walking again, had to move before he couldn't control himself anymore. He didn't let himself look at her. He couldn't even hear anything except the blood rushing in his ears. Even so, he could feel that Ayano had caught up with him. She was right beside him, her body heat sending tingles along his bare arms.

"I trust you too, Ayano," he said, softly. He dared to glance at her. Immediately, he was ensnared by two watching, gentle grey eyes. Strangely, he wasn't as inaudible as before, as he resumed, "Whatever happens tonight, with Info-chan, we'll be fine."

Ayano nodded, and then surprised him with a tiny smile. He felt a golden light was shine within him as his insides melted. She was beautiful. If he just held out his hand, would she take it?

He had no time to find out. Ayano's eyes drifted past his to the house before them.

"We're here," she said.