Obsession (Ayano x Budo)

Chapter 31

"Don't worry, you'll be seeing me sooner than you think."

The words that Budo had told Taro earlier that day now rang true.

As soon as Budo entered the ward, the first thing he saw was Taro lying on the bed beneath its thin blue covers, head facing the window at the end of the room and eyes looking listlessly at the sky. Even though it was grey like a metal sheet, and bitter-cold winds bent  the tops of pine trees, it looked at if Taro deeply wished he were outside.

All that changed when he heard Budo enter the room. It was like a subconscious realization. Taro turned his head to Budo, surprise already etched onto his face before he had even seen him. As soon as they landed on Budo, Taro's eyes changed from ones full of dark depression to ones full of hopeful light. A surprised smile broke out across his lips.

Budo almost wanted to feel sympathy for Taro. Does he have to look so happy to see me? Am I really his only friend? Poor guy, Budo thought in a mix of pity and contempt. He returned Taro's smile as he approached his bed.

He'd barely sat down in the hard plastic chair beside the bed when Taro started talking - "Budo, thanks for coming again so soon. I'm really sorry for how I shouted at you earlier. I knew I ended it wrong as soon as you left. So I wanted to apologize ..."

Budo's forced smile stiffened slightly in exasperation. Ugh, am I really going to have to put up with this friendship bull?

Budo couldn't help it. He rolled his eyes.

But it was a mistake. It was too obvious. Taro immediately halted his mini-essay, eyebrows drawing together in a hurt and taken-aback expression. Budo quickly caught himself.

"Sorry, sorry," he said hastily. "Something's off with me today, but I agree with you that we shouldn't have argued like that. However it was also my fault. I shouldn't have been so condescending and ignored your concerns. I'm sorry."

Budo's eyes hovered nervously over Taro's in order to assess their reaction.

Taro didn't answer for a second, but then sighed, "It's fine, Budo. Thanks for apologising." Taro's reply was oddly curt, almost tired. It didn't sound like he'd really forgiven him at all at all. "In return, forgive me too. Let just put that behind us, then. I have something I want to talk to you about. It's really important..."

And then he started discussing ways to bring evidence to the police, and how Budo could help him in this matter. Budo was so tired of this old conversation, especially when he knew he would be do nothing of the sort. Half-listening, Budo's gaze floated past Taro, resting on the wall behind him. From behind his back, his fingers fiddled a tuneless beat, tapping against the palm of his hand. The action was like a subconscious distraction that anchored his drifting thoughts to the ground of reality. But it was becoming more difficult by the second. That itch inside of him, that little urge to turn the world red, was nearly unbearable, was growing by the second. It just about to nudge past the boundaries of his control. Strangely, in a perverted, masochistic way, the sensation of being denied what one so desperately wanted was almost pleasurable. It only made him want it more.

"...If you could get back to the scene, and look for the weapon nearby - They were using a bat I think..."

Budo let Taro's words flow around his ears without absorbing anything he said. None of it mattered anyway, since after this, he would be taking Taro out of this hospital, an then...

His fingers intensified their pace and he grew more and more lost in his thoughts as he imagined the ways he could put that annoying voice to a final croak. How would he do it? Budo wanted to take his time, since there would only be one rival to kill. He wanted to make it good. But how?

Well, his basement was empty...

And a flash of inspiration blitzed through his brain like electricity. It was like a breathe of the cool, salty-crisp sea air when the day was hot and humid. Within just that split second, Budo felt as if he were on the top of the world. He knew what to do. It would be marvelous.

Budo's eyes snapped back to Taro, and he suddenly realized that Taro wasn't speaking anymore. He was instead watching Budo silently.

Budo grasped at straws in his mind for a plausible excuse.

"Sorry Taro, I was just thinking about how to present the evidence to the police," he quickly apologized.

Taro nodded absently in acknowledgment of Budo's words, but did not say anything. His eyes were like pins - sharp, piercing into Budo's in an uncomfortably intense way. In that second of silence, Budo felt the air grow tense.

"You know Taro, this whole time, I haven't asked you how you are, or what you're feeling. You're undergoing way more stress than me. I should be giving you more attention than I have been." Budo made a soft sigh and gave Taro a wiry smile. "Some friend I am, right?"

Budo waited for Taro to refute the statement, as he usually would. But Taro didn't give any reply. He just kept on watching, maybe not even that, as Taro's eyes hadn't shifted from Budo's that entire time. It was not as if they were watching, but rather scrutinizing him. His eyes were surprisingly steady, like a smooth stream of dark brown cream that flowed directly into Budo's own eyes. They were too direct. The discomfort in Budo's stomach heightened into a mass of twisting snakes. Alarm bells started to ring in in Budo's head.

Without realizing it, his fingers
had stopped tapping, so fixated was he on this unexpected situation. Could Taro sense just how badly he wanted to kill him? Did he know just how much he was faking these expressions and words right now? Just keep talking, his panicked mind urged himself.

"Well, I guess I deserve this. I'll start paying attention now. I... I guess I've just been in shock. Um, since I've made this awkward, I figure I should explain why I came back today. I have something to tell you."

Budo waited for a split second, allowing for a dramatic moment. Taro's eyes shifted ever so slightly from one speculative to one cautiously curious, and Budo knew he had him hooked.

"Ok, let me just get to the point. I know it's been difficult for you. I can't imagine what you're going through now. Since your parents are out of town, do you want to stay at my place? I know the longer you stay here, the bigger the bills, and I know your family can't afford another night. And there isn't really mug else the hospital can do for you except prescribe some meds for the pain. I'll look after you and get your clothes and stuff. It might be difficult, but I'm here for you, and, until your parents come back, we can sort his out together..."

Budo gave Taro a genuine, hopeful smile from both his lips and his eyes. It was one he was so used to giving at this point.

"...After all, you're my best friend."