SoKeefe Forever.

Depression (Mature)

PLEASE READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE. IMPORTANT INFO INSIDE.

Okay guys. This one is going to be different from my other one shots.  All the other ones I've done are pretty happy, and appropriate. This one... is not. If you are young, or are triggered by depression, self harm, or suicide, then Don't read this. because this deals with all of those issues. There will be no swearing or sexual content or anything, but I'm still rating this M because of some of the stuff it deals with.

This is going to be really angsty and just... I don't even know how to describe it. The basic plot of it is that Keefe catches Sophie self harming. You might find Sophie acting really weird in this chapter. That's because, in this, she is going through depression, which twists your thoughts and actions into something you would never do normally. For example, self harming.

I know that a lot of you might not agree with my decision to write and post this chapter, because KOTLC is a book for kids. But I'm posting it anyway.

I have danced with depression and self harm. I'm not going to go into to that, because I don't want to depress you anymore, but I'm not going to be sugar coating this. I feel like people do that to often, even when they don't realize it. So I'm going to try and make this as raw as I can.

Also, please forgive me if this story is terrible. It's a bit hard for me to write, because it talks about stuff that I've never really talked about before to anyone. 

And please, please don't think that this is me telling you that it's okay to self harm. It's not. It may feels like it helps, but in the long run, it will only hurt. And please don't ever commit suicide either. You have no idea how much your life really matters. If you ever think about committing suicide, you can find the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. I know it's really hard, but I also know that you can do it. Every single person is precious, and never forget that.

Oh, and I will be posting review responses from last chapter in the next chapter. I'm just not in the mental space to find something nice to say right now.

Another, more innocent warning, this contains very small spoilers for Nightfall. Nothing big though.

So, onto the story.

Sophie let the blade roll across the once pure skin of her wrist, puncturing her skin. That was 20 marks in the last week. Too many. But also not enough.

She knew that she should not be doing this. She knew that she was stronger than this. But then large droplets of dark blood began to roll down her arm, and she felt herself relax. She felt the stinging pain of the fresh wound, and let it distract her. She wanted this pain. She needed it. Without it, she would break.

The drops of blood began to fall from her wrist, staining her sheets with a vibrant red. She would have to change those sheets.

She clenched her fist, and a new blast of pain shot through her arm. At first, Sophie winced in response, cringing at the now all-too-familiar sting.

And then Sophie smiled.

This was good. Yes, it hurt. Yes, it was wrong. But it was the only way. Sometimes, the only way to defeat pain was with pain.

These moments, alone at night, barricaded in her room, with the droplets of red staining her skin and sheets, was where Sophie felt most alive. It was a necessary distraction. To keep her mind off the guilt. Of the fear. Of the hopelessness.

It was also a way to say something that she couldn't say in words. A way of expressing, you could call it. A way of expressing something that needed to be expressed, with pain if not with words.