To The Boy with Hazel Eyes; e.d

Future Closure

A/N:Listen to the song while reading

I walk slowly in the snow, playing with the pedal of the flowers as I open up the frozen gate, a towel on my left arm.

The cold December air sends goosebumps up and down my arms, the naked trees are dark and hollow from the lack of leaves, the gravestones covered in snow, the lack of sunlight covered by the clouds.

It's been a while.

I swallow the lump in my throat and continue walking, scratching my beard as anxiety pumped through my veins.

Once I land on where my best friend is buried, I place the flowers in front of the gravestone. I gave the gravestone a hug and got up from my kneeling position, wiping off the snow from my pants.

I took in a breath before I spoke.

"Happy 33rd birthday buddy." I celebrated, looking at my brother with tired eyes.

I felt a slight chill down my spine and a butterfly landed on his stone. I smiled when I saw it.

Although it is winter, it's a sign from Grayson whenever I see a butterfly.

When Lennon was in labor, I saw a butterfly sticker on the door.
When I was accepting my very first academy award for 'Best Director' at the Oscars, I saw a gold butterfly pin on my mom's hair while giving my speech.

He is always with me; it's like he never left.

"Look at us. Thirty-three years old." I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "I'm sorry that I barely visited you this year. Life's problems never stop."

"Let me tell you a bit about what you've missed." I said, placing the towel on the floor and sitting on it.

"Dad passed from his cancer back in August at the ripe age of 82." I broke the news, my heart aching. "Although you might already know that, both of you can go fishing without me in heaven." I chuckled at my attempt of a joke.

"Tell him that I miss him. I miss him a lot." I look down at my hands. "Mom is still upset over it, but her grand-children keep her occupied."

I looked at my dad's gravestone next to him, taking in a breath. "Mom will be fine, dad, don't worry." I reassured, before turning back to Grayson.

"Lennon makes me very happy, Gray." I smiled at the thought of my wife.

How did I become so lucky?

"She told me that she visited you today before she left for work. I hope you liked her company while I was flying from L.A back to New Jersey." I chuckled at myself.

As I paused, a beam of light pointed at my wife and my child playing at the near by park, a few feet away from me. I smile at my little family.

"Cameron said that she'll visit you after work, and i'm pretty sure mom came to visit you earlier today before church." I asked, not sure from my jet-lag.

My mom has been going to church much more often ever since my dad died. She finds comfort and love there and I appreciate her turn in life.

"I just finished directing the brand new Christmas movie. It has Millie Bobby Brown and Zac Efron in it and i'm so stoked for the premier." I explain, bringing a knee to my chest as I thought of all of my accomplishments. "The plot was inspired by one of our Christmases when we were younger, except we're girls."

I heard my son's laughter in the background and smiled. It's like Grayson's laughing.

I close my eyes, a single tear falling down my eye.

I took a sharp breath.

"I really miss you, Gray." I choked out. "Even though I learnt to cope with your d-death..." I took in a breath. "...I just wanted to hear your voice one more t-time."

I bring my hands to my eyes, letting myself cry for a little bit before proceeding.

"The fact that I couldn't say a proper g-good b-bye in the physic-cal world..." I swallow the lump in my throat.

I took in a few breaths before continuing.

"I remember when I was 17 and released from the hospital, you were in my dream and I said goodbye. But I just want to hug you one more time."

I still have that dream when I really miss Grayson. I feel sad and alone but then I turn and I see Lennon peacefully sleeping next to me and realize that I will see him, maybe not now, but later in the future.

"Ethan." I remember his voice saying as I slept.

My 17 year old self opened my eyes in my dream, looking around and realizing that the walls were white and that I am not in reality.

I turn around to find Grayson, alive and well, wearing one of his favourite outfits with a big smile on his face.

"Grayson!" I scream as I ran towards my late brother, tackling him to the ground as I brought him into my arms.

He just laughed, hugging me back.

He's so warm.

"I missed you to pieces. I-I'm so so-rry for not s-saving you or saying g-goodbye-" I rambled, tears flowing like a waterfall as I held him closer.

"I miss you too, E." He said, laying his head on my shoulder as he hugged me. "But I explained to you why I didn't tell you."

"I know but I just wanted to say goodbye." I said, breaking our hug, getting up while holding his face in my hands.

He held my hand that was on his cheek.

"Life will get better, I promise you." He reassured. "I know what life has in stored for you and even though i'm not there physically, i'm still watching you succeed."

He wiped a tear from my cheek, hugging me once more.

"I love you, Ethan." He said softly, rubbing his fingers through my scalp as I cried.

"I-I lov-ve you t-too, Grayson." I said back, burying my face in his shoulder before he broke the hug, walking backwards.

"This isn't goodbye, it's see you later." He said, backing up further. "Love you, E. Peace." He gave a piece sign before turning away, walking straight into the white fog.

"Peace, Grayson."

I snap back to reality, looking back at the gravestone.

"I love you, Grayson. When we meet again, we better play some pranks on dad." I laughed, brightening up the mood.

"Daddy!" I hear my son yell, holding onto the metal fence, my pregnant wife behind him. "You gotta see the snowman mom and I made!" His little face excited.

"Coming Gray!" I yell back, before turning towards the gravestone. "You remember Grayson Jr. right? He turns 4 in March and Lennon is pregnant with a girl, can you guess the name?"

Before I could say the answer, I heard Grayson Jr. yell my name again.

"Dad! I can feel Avery kicking!"

I smiled as I turn back to my brother.

"He looked too much like you, I had to match the face with a name." I smiled, wiping some snow off of his stone before getting up.

"T'ill next time, little brother." I concluded my conversation, wrapping the towel around my left arm before freeing my right one. "Happy birthday little bro."

I pointed out two fingers before walking back to my growing family.

"Peace."

fin.
•M•