To Belong- (Malec AU)

Chapter 13

Alec's POV

Thank you again for today, Alexander. I'll call you later! Got a major paper to write, the text message said.

I couldn't help but smile as I walked into the front door of my house. After dropping Magnus off at his house, I giddily drove home with the radio blaring throughout the car. I sang along like I never had before, laughing at myself because of how ridiculous I sounded. I couldn't help it, I had a really great day. Everything went better than I could have ever imagined.

Just ending my day with Magnus, even if it was a school day, just made me feel so content with my life. The fact that I could now finally show feelings towards a man in public was truly astounding. Finally coming out to the school was like a heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't have to hide holding Magnus' hand if I wanted to. I didn't have to be scared of getting caught staring at his breathtaking-tanned face. I didn't have to hide anymore. Some may not except me for my decisions in dating men, I couldn't help but notice some disgusted stares today. But, all of that faded into the background as I stared at the sparkly boy beside me, squeezing my hand as we walked through the hallway.

"Why are you smiling?" a curious voice asked me.

My mind shook from its absent state, peering down to look at the little version of me sitting on the sofa. Max sat crisscrossed on the two of three cushions of the beige sofa, dressed in his favorite blue-starred pajamas and a blanket around his waist. His favorite comic was clenched in his hands, resting on his blanketed lap as he looked up at me. His blue eyes reflected a curious look, twitching back and forth across my face in attempts to read my brightened grin.

I could feel my cheeks turning red as his words finally registered in my head. Looking down, I took a deep breath in attempts to compose myself. Max was a smart kid, he would know that I was hiding something if I lied. I couldn't lie to him, but I was damn well going to try if it saved me from embarrassment.

"W-what d-do you mean, M-max? I always smile...," I attempted to reply. After realizing that I had composed myself, I slowly lifted my head back up to peer at my brother. There was silence for a moment, bringing some type of confidence in me that I didn't mess up too much to give myself up. He looked puzzled for a brief second, but then held a sense of acceptance in the answer. Until...

"You never smile," Max said, his voice containing a hint of freight. "Why are you smiling? It's kinda creepy."

I let out a nervous chuckle, running my clammy hands on the back of my neck. Max knew something was up, but I didn't know how to tell the nine-year-old why I was grinning like a damn fool. I didn't know if he would understand what being gay meant, or why his brother was that way. He was still a little kid, he might not truly understand just yet. I didn't want him to see me as anything else then as he does now—his big brother Alec.

"I can't smile?" I nervously laugh. "And the real question is why are you home from school early?"

Max let out a grin, settling himself down into a comfortable position on the couch. "Because I didn't feel good this morning, so Mom let me stay home." I nodded in understanding, slightly worried for the young boy. Lately Max didn't quite seem himself, but at the moment he looked better.

"Is it because of a boy?" Max asked, breaking the moment of silence. He adjusted himself to get a better look at me, pushing his glasses back towards his face in the process.

I froze, not being able to comprehend his words. It took me a moment to register what came out of his mouth. I didn't know what to say. My mouth hung low in attempts to speak, but nothing came out 'Did I hear that right?' I asked myself.

"W-what d-d-d you mean, Max?" I slowly stuttered out.

"I know that you like boys, Alec," he smiled proudly. "So, since you are smiling like a creep, I thought that you were dreaming about a boy."

Max began to giggle, pushing his new comic book down on the couch as his head leaned down slightly. My mouth hung open wide, letting out a nervous laugh in astonishment.

"How...Max? How did you know?" I managed to choke out. I kneeled down to his level, with my eyes remaining wide.

"I'm not dumb, Alec. When you, Izzy, and Jace are all talking, you think I'm not listening. But, I am," he triumphantly replied, his arms folding in front of his chest.

I couldn't help but shake my head in amazement. This kid was definitely smarter than what I gave him credit for. To think that he wasn't listening to all of our 'older' sibling banter is quite humorous. All this time he must have known...

"So, you don't have a problem with it?" I nervously asked. My hands clenched onto the soft sofa cushion, attempting to relieve the returning nervousness from earlier. Coming out to my little brother never really crossed my mind. It's not that I didn't want him to know, I just didn't expect him to understand what it meant. Hell, I didn't even know what it meant when I was his age. I just knew that something was off whenever Jace would talk about the 'cute' girls from school and I would never truly agree with him. I would simply nod my head in attempts to agree with my then crush. But, I knew that deep down that I could never agree with that.

Max grabbed my hands, lifting them to his blanketed lap. "I love you, Alec. I don't care if you like boys or girls. You are still my big brother."

I couldn't help but wrap the small boy in an embrace, running my fingers through his unruly nest of hair. Relaxing in the embrace, Max hugged me back with as much affection that I had for him. I quietly whispered a 'thank you' towards him as I let him go.

"You don't have to thank me, Alec. We are family. We love each other no matter what," Max replied. His glasses slightly falling down his nose and heart melting smile that lite up his face reminded me just how young, yet understanding that he was.

We are family. We love each other no matter what, I thought. How right Max was. His words rang true. My parents had to love me, even though I was gay. Because we are family, they had to unconditionally love me. And family, even the Lightwoods, were capable of such love.

A/N: hey guys! Just wanted to thank you for all reading! And I really hope that you all have a great New Year and holiday season! ❤️