Self Riotous

9.

Bryson.

I felt Marely stir around in my arms as she slept, causing me to look at her in worry that she'd wake up.

She stayed asleep though; all she had done was buried herself deeper into my side, resting her head on my chest. I studied her face in the darkness, tangling my hands in her messy curls. I leaned down, softly kissing her lips.

I wanted to sleep but I found I couldn't as I stared up at my ceiling. Brooklyn was gone on a second shift at work, leaving our place completely quiet.

I was aware of the clouds outside in the night from the news earlier, so it didn't come as a surprise when the rain began splashing against my window across the room. I hoped it didn't get too loud to wake Marely.

It was strange; the way she made me feel. I had never felt so warm before, and no I don't mean her physical warmth. Something about her made my entire body feel comfortable.

It was a feeling I definitely couldn't fully describe even if I tried.

It was like she belonged in my arms whenever I'd let her lay there, which had become more often than ever. For some reason I felt the urge to protect her, and with her laying against me felt like the only way I could for right now.

Eventually I'd have to understand these feelings I had. But in this moment and the moments before, everything with her felt almost perfect. And that was the way I felt it should be.

And I damn sure wasn't rushing into anything, especially not with her. The way we vibe right now was something I wasn't in a search for before, but now it felt as if it had saved my life. As if it was a little piece I needed to continue on living.

I sighed to myself as my life cluttered my mind. It always did at this time of night; more reasons why I hated being awake. I hated even more that I couldn't help but be awake sometimes.

"Mom, please don't." I watched her finger as it placed itself firmly on the trigger. The gun held one bullet but at that time I hadn't known that. I reached our for her, but my hands went through her body with ease.

"I'm sorry Bry. Take care of your sister." Her eyes squeezed shut. The gun began to shake against her temple. I fell back, curled up against the hard floor.

My fists were firm against the sides of my head, trying to block out my ears from her words I hadn't heard the night she died. Yet here she was, talking to me as if she cared.

She didn't. She was so fucking selfish. She left her two children here to face the world alone.

"I love you Bryson." I could here her voice shaking. No, you don't. You don't even love yourself, you took the easy way out as if everyone doesn't have battles.

You were weak and you expect me to be strong. You weren't here for me and you expect me to want to live when you wanted to die. What the fuck do you want from me?

"Bryson please stay. I have to go."

I shouted at her. "No! Take me with you. All of this pain, you want me to live through this shit when you get to go? You get to be free of it?" I could hear my voice but my mouth didn't move. "It doesn't have to be this way."

"You can make it right, you're stronger than this. Please listen to me! Why won't you listen!" I rocked my body back and forth on the cold floor, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Please take care of Brooklyn, you're all she has." Her voice continued on in my head. Yeah, then who has me? Whose here when I need saving?

"Make it stop!" I screamed in agony as her voice grew louder, taunting me. I didn't dare open my eyes as I prayed for it to end. "Make it stop! Please make it stop!"

"Bryson! Bryson, wake up." I heard Mariellas voice as I felt her small hand on my face, shaking it. "Your sweating bad Bry, come on." She helped me sit up in my bed.

I glanced out the window and the rain still poured. The image of my mother and the voices were gone, I must've fallen asleep.

I took off my shirt, forgetting Mariella was right there for a split moment. She didn't focus on my body at all though, she just sat in front of me, staring at my face as my breathing calmed back down.

"You scared the hell out of me." She spoke. "Are you alright?" She questioned as a yawn escaped her lips.

"I- yeah, I'm okay. Just a nightmare I guess." My eyes wondered away from her tired brown ones, focusing on the floor.

"Hey..." She grabbed my chin, making me focus on her again. "You can talk to me about anything, I just want you to always know that. I'm here for you." She spoke. My eyes glanced at all the scars on her wrist, reminding me again that she knew the feelings I dealt with.

"I know Marely." I grabbed her hand from my face, kissing the top of it. "Let's go back to sleep." I suggested. Part of me wanted to be up but the other part which was way bigger than that one, resisted.

"You sure you don't want any water or anything?" She asked. I looked at my clock and she did too as it read 3:27 a.m.

She laughed at the gesture. "I'm just saying, once I lay down you won't be able to move until morning." She shrugged.

"I'm sure I'll manage." I winked at her as I laid back. She climbed on top of me a little, giving me a small kiss before laying her head on my bare chest first as her body collapsed on the side of mine.

She wrapped one leg around my waist, being even closer to me than before. It was exactly what I needed and some how she knew that.

"Goodnight Love."

"Goodnight Bry."

—-

It's hereeee. Omg.

I feel like this story has been on hold for so long😩 I'm so sorry, thank you to whoever patiently waited for me❤️

This was a small update BUT a over due needed one, I hope you guys enjoyed.

Poor Bryson😥 and they too cute😭

Updates soon,
Nessa