Let's Be Nothing (I Heard it Lasts Forever) // niley

42

Nick

It was so sudden. I feel like I haven't even finished what I was reading because I haven't even caught my breath before she made her move. But here we are...in my room, two people who had known each other so well for years, best friends, sharing a kiss.

I was frozen for a moment, letting her kiss me with a passion I never knew existed. It was like everything she's been trying to keep in finally being let out. I could feel it. I could feel the hurt, the lies she told herself, and the doubts...they're all evaporating out of her body. She's kissing me like she's making up for the times she wanted to kiss me but didn't. The times she pulled herself back.

The kiss was at the same time apologetic, hungry, hot, but mostly it was a longing 'thank you' kiss. I could feel her lips slowly detaching from mine—I suspected that because I was frozen the whole time and I didn't kiss back. But I didn't want the kiss to end, so before she could I grabbed her hips and lift my chin up and pushed harder into her. Her passionate grip melted and relaxed against my mouth, letting herself go all over again but this time to let me kiss her.

Her hands let go of my face and freely slid down to my shoulders and chest. I opened my mouth and she followed, the next thing I knew we were making out on my desk, she's pushing me against my chair for more, and I was already tracing her hair and messing it up.

I knew this was the result of holding ourselves back all this time, and now it's erupting. All the feelings, it's out in the open. None of us knew at that moment that this would mean there's no way we could go back to being best friends, or even friends for that matter. We didn't care. We were living in the moment, like how we should've since the start instead of constantly worrying about what could be and what might've been. We were too busy presuming, when we could've just plunge ourselves into a situation and find out what would really happen. We didn't because we thought it was risky.

Are we still thinking about the risks now?

Like the universe knew a talk needed to happen; the air became still and the love and lust flew out the window. Leaving us only with our kiss that had to end. Miley and I let each other go slowly, she pulled away and I watched her open her eyes heavily, like if she kept them closed she could still feel the kiss.

I didn't know what to say first, so I just smiled nervously. Her mouth cracked and her lips twitched returning the smile. And it was probably the first time I saw her genuinely smile—with teeth—since a very long time.

"I should've told you sooner," She said, her smile dimmed.

"Tell me what?"

"That I feel the same way," She confessed, and it made me flutter. Because even though we kissed and she had expressed everything through her kiss, I didn't know I needed to hear her say it. It makes my heart race. I felt...whole.

"I was...I was just scared." She added "I told myself that I can't love you like that because I wasn't sure you see me more than a friend. I didn't...I didn't want to love until I was sure I would be loved back."

"Don't be sorry," I muttered "I felt the same,"

"But I was worse to you. I kept denying your feelings."

"You didn't," I shook my head.

"Well, not to you." She admitted sorrowfully "I really thought we were being naïve. Even after everything you did, even after the article. I made up all these doubts in my head. I was unconvincing myself."

"Hey," I said sternly but gently "It's fine, okay? Are you convinced now?"

She nodded her head. "Then that's all that matters." I said "Don't worry too much from now on, I really couldn't not love you."