Today I write about the lady who sacrificed a lot in her life for me and my brothers, who gave up her typical fancy life just for our happiness and our future, Today I write you about my mother.
My mother, is a beautiful blonde lady that you can simply fall in love with her from the first word she says. She has her disadvantages like any other person but nobody's perfect after all right? My mom met my father in a small family ceremony, She was still going through her mom's death from cancer and my grandfather had to send her to Egypt so she could change moods. It was fate just like we believe, this is when she met my father who came also from another country to attend the ceremony and this is how they met. I don't call it love at first sight more like fate took place, I know the relationship between both of them now is ugly you can say, I can't describe it, I hate to infact. At the end both of them are my parents and I never have seen it ending this way and this is why now I say, Fate is gonna take a place in my life but so is Love before I decide to marry someone I want to be in love.
My mom has gone through a lot with her family in Syria, her mother died when she was really young and her heart was broken and left a void in it. My grandfather had several step-moms that were always mean, cruel to the family and only came for money. I guess I can say my mom had a long childhood that wasn't always fun and it broke her. I remember she telling me the story of why we didn't live in Syria instead of Egypt and it's a tragic story to tell, my mom would break into tears everytime she tells how they suffered with the old Syrian regime when Hafez el Asad was still the president. She told me that her brothers were beaten, her father was kidnapped several times and that she was sexually assaulted by one of the regime men when she was about only 9. Horrible stories that made me always had nightmares. My mother decided to give up her country because she wanted us to live differently, and she was right. Looking at how Syria is now we could have died months ago and she'd have never forgiven herself, so thank you mom for giving up your country for us.
Moving to Egypt and living in a complete different country was difficult for her, She was so beautiful and I'm sorry but you Egyptians have a reputation that proceeds you when it comes to harassment and assault. She couldn't feel safe especially when she would walk in the streets of Cairo while 100 of horny men looking at her, she knew how hard it's gonna be in Egypt and yet still wanted to stay so thank you mom and I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that thousands of times or even more. When my mom had me and I remember my childhood wasn't the best but yet she tried, we had robberies all the time and she would only think of me and how to save me, It wasn't safe and I understand how life was so hard in Egypt. I'm also sorry for that mom you should always have felt safe instead.
My father wasn't the best husband for her, sometimes not the best father for us either but she took care of him, he became with years a very sick man and she stayed to help him even tho she hated him and his own family wouldn't help, She sacrificed a lot for you dad and you really didn't deserve it.. all you did was to abuse her verbally and even trying physically, So sorry mother for living with that and for all the fights you've gone through for us. When I wanted something or my brothers we would always ask mom and never dad because he never said yes to anything, it always her who'd get us what we want and yet my father took advantage of that and everyone else blamed her when she left to search for the freedom for her sons. Sorry mom for having to live with those unnamed heartless cold people.
I gotta admit she did have her crazy times, she gets mad really easily and if she's in a bad mood we try to avoid her because it gets bad, She was a big spender also and WE HATED AND WE STILL HATE THAT MOM. But hey you can never hate your own mother who stayed all nights for you when you were sick right? My mother is a really emotional person she'd cry easily if you tell her the bird outside fell from the tree and died. It was weakness and people took advantage of that. For a long time I was like her, I had the kindest heart and I was so weak but I learned how to be strong because I don't want to live in this cruel world when everyone takes you for granted easily.
I could never go anywhere alone because of my father and eventually I had gone through depression and I was fading slowly and my mother noticed and she decided we go for a walk almost everyday together so I'd go out of my room, sometimes I'd be stubborn and never went and most of the times she took me places I hated but thank you mom for doing this for me and now here we are I'm a big introvert and I don't like going out with you most of the time but I'm trying, so I'm sorry for that mom it was never your fault you tried your best but this how I ended to be and I'm not embarrassed anymore.
You know the sad part is your mother telling you that you look fat or you need to lose weight, or even worse she doesn't like the way you dress or it makes her embarrassed infront of others I guess that's one of the things I hated the most mom, I was never happy with my body and I never felt comfortable going out when people would only stare at my boobs when they should mention how hard I tried instead, this broke me mom I never loved my shape and it only got worse with the years I wanted you to help me not to blame me, to support me not to talk about me instead I kept eating until I was so weak and insecure and here I am trying pills, gym and even healthy food and what made it worse me being diagnosed with PCOS, It broke my heart knowing that all this is nothing, I had to try harder but I'm tired and I can't please everyone and I can't please you either mother, so I'm sorry mother for not being the beautiful princess you wanted me to be.
Looking back at all the times in my life, my teenage years, my childhood even I know I wasn't the best daughter sometimes I even was jealous of how you treated my brothers more loving than you did with me. I know that you cried so bad when you first knew you were pregnant with a girl instead of a boy and how you didn't want me because I was a girl, whenever I heard the story I'd cry because I was the eldest and I always took care of the family yet you wanted a boy, how traditional and old fashioned mom but I forgive you, I forgive you given that my father was so happy unlike you and look at us now, look at me taking care of my whole family because it's fallen apart, do you think any of my brothers would have known how to run the family? I didn't think so either. I'm sorry for being a girl instead of a boy mom but please appreciate what I did.
In the end, I want to thank you for everything and to mention that I can live without you but without you I'd be miserable and to thank you for being my mother and my father in the same time for all the sacrifice you did I thank you, for all the sickness because of us I thank you, for all the verbal abuse you've been through because of us I thank you, for giving up your life in Syria in order for us to live happily and safely I thank you and I want you to know how much I love you and will always do.
P.S, the title of this part is a saying in Arabic which means الجنة تحت اقدام الامهات. Which literally mean Heaven is underneath Mothers' feet and we should all know how to love our mothers if we want to see heaven one day.
Be thankful for your mothers, millions are living without one or lost theirs while you've been reading this.
