Sexual Assaulting and Sexual Abuse is a definitely a thing in our world.
Have you ever put in the situation where you wanted to deal with assault but you couldn't or you didn't know what to do? Let's say I've been in the situation and I didn't know what to do.
I know that sexual assaulting/abusing sometimes can be difficult to talk about, It actually might be really embarrassing to share about, it's not something that will just go with time unfortunately although I prayed for many years that I would just wake up one time and forget about the whole thing that happened to me but it just never goes away and you have to let it go, talk about it with someone let it out of your mind or you'll live in misery just like I did for several years in my life.
It was my bad, my parents were not the easy parents that I wished for ever if I were to share what happened to me with them they'd to put the blame on me as they always did on everything else, I'm not saying my parents are the worst but they weren't the best parents to share my story with. It's really difficult talking about what happened while I was trying to write this draft, I took weeks because everytime I'd start writing I'd start having flashbacks and break in tears. I encouraged myself and decided to stand for all the other girls and boys that have been through this before too, if you read this one day I'm telling you not to be scared share it with someone get it out of your mind or you'll always have problems dealing with new people. I had to stop thinking that all people and everyone I'd know are bad, there are bad people and there are people who'd sacrifice their lives for you so don't give up on people instead give them a chance and see what happens.
If you have great parents, good friends maybe even good relatives talk to them about it tell them your story they might help you just by few words and you'd be happy again and you'll never have to look back for years just like I did. I had to move on but I didn't know how I was losing hope in life, people, family, friends I might even be still through the process of accepting life as it is now. Don't give up on your life just because some bad people messed a part of it. Trust me your life is worth it, whether you're a boy or a girl, a teenager or even in your mid 30s you can always be sexually assaulted or even abused. Be careful who'd you go out with, who'd you give your number to, I'm not telling you to stop life, I'm telling you to live your life but with protection.
It started when I was only about 5 years old and he was in his 20s, he'd wait for everyone to start playing football in the park and walk me away from them, I was 5 he'd even trick me everytime with a new trick to get me away with him. He would touch me and I wouldn't know what to say or do. I remember asking him what's that you're doing to me and why is it only me? And I remember his answer was because you're smart and I only choose smart kids. I guess I was stupid to believe that. I'd get home go to my room and cry because I don't know what was he doing but I'm pretty sure it was something not right, I couldn't talk to my parents I couldn't talk to anyone infact, I was accepting the fact that this will happen for only a matter of time and it'll stop but it never did. One time I tried to tell my brother and my cousin and we're all bunch of kids and there's not really much to say, my cousin was my age and my brother is a year younger and they're mad at him for missing a game so I came and I say 'He is touching me there and I don't know why and I want you to ask him' so we decide to go together and ask him what's with the touch down there, and he changed the subject and as we're kids we just forgot about the whole thing and as if nothing happened you know? My chance as a kid was ruined but hey I know who you are and I know that I can reach you and I know also where to find you so I don't wish this to happen to your daughter one day or even your wife but I wish you'd remember what you did to me and you'd never forgive yourself because I'd never forgive you.
