You know the worst thing about my life would be the cancer that went through some of my family members and broke my heart, of course other family members were broken but not like me.. It was always tragic.
My mom's mom, grandma, was so beautiful she had this long thick hair and those greenish eyes and that smile, I always wished I had her smile.. She was a living angel on earth, she was kind and everyone loved her she did to others more than she did to herself and I would never believe that she would actually had any sins with all the good she did.
My grandma got diagnosed with cancer at a really young age, 46 was how old she was when she died. I never saw my grandma, I wasn't born yet when she died but I heard her story and I hated cancer so much, back in the days she was in Cancer was still a really difficult disease to treat, almost impossible! That year my grandma and my grandpa went to Hajj and she wasn't sick, she was smiling and happy that god gave her what she asked for but as soon as she got back home, she got sick and the Cancer hit really bad, she died before she even die, she was in pain, she was crying, she told them she would see the angel of death waiting for her soul. It always stayed in my mind how good people always leave us and die, I think I was always mad at god for that, taking people that I love was the case, my grandma dies, I never saw her I only heard her story but I still feel like I was in my mom's position when this happened, I can never forget it.
Moving along, my aunt, Auntie was the closest family member to me, I always had problems with other family members because they would tell things about me to my parents and I would always get in trouble for actually being a teenage girl, but my Aunt wasn't like them, she raised me when I was young she was like my other mother, I'd sleep at her house so many times, countless times and I'd never get enough of her, she was my everything and more, she taught me how to be strong and stand for myself she taught me how to be the girl I am right now and she would always say, "You listen to me now, one day you won't realize it but you'll be something really big in this world and when the time comes I'll be there to remind you" and I lost her and I don't think I can be anyone without her, where's my inspiration if you're gone? Do you realize how painful it was the day you left me? She promised me to sew my graduation dress, and my wedding dress herself I always waited for those specific days just to ask her to start sewing them. She was diagnosed with Cancer few years ago, and it was a shock to me, to the whole family of course but to me mostly, I couldn't lose her, I didn't want to think of it... She started treatment, she would travel to Jordan for treatment and comes every few months back to see her only daughter, each time she would come back she would come back much worse than the time before, it was unbearable seeing her in that situation, I couldn't, I tried to avoid her as much as I can and then one time I get the call, she was fully cured of Cancer and she was coming back home finally for us to celebrate her, I remember going to the airport that day to pick her up although she really looked bad, so skinny no hair at all and almost a skeleton shaped, a living one. It was scary but I was happy this was temporary and she'd get back to her normal look, it was a matter of time, I got busy with school and I didn't get to see her a lot and one night we hear that she's pregnant but she has to get rid of the baby because it'll only bring the cancer back only this time much worse, she goes to the pharmacy to get the medicine for that and you know what? The pharmacist gives her the wrong medicine, in 24 hours the cancer was back only this time to take her with him, I was supposed to go visit her at the hospital but as soon as I reach the hospital everyone was crying, I didn't know what was happening I ask where's my aunt? And they say she's in the morgue, she's gone. I couldn't say goodbye to the only person I truly loved with all my heart, they ask me to see her for the last time, I go in I see her and I start crying, she was really dead it wasn't a bad nightmare it was a bad reality. I lost her and I lost believing in love since then.. I remember the last summer we spent together when she was cured, we were listening to this song (Terrible things -Mayday Parade) the moment he talks about his true love being sick and dying in few weeks and she turns to me and say, I am not sick anymore and I'm not dying in few weeks either, it was July when we had this conversation and how happy and thankful I was, she died same year on December, it broke my heart that you broke your promise, Aunt. I wish you were here, I wish you were here every night and everyday. I'll always love you, you were truly the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
