UnStarStruck

Chapter 24 - The Girl on the Bench

Chapter 24 – The Girl on the Bench

Ivy’s POV

When I woke up at 8 am the next day, I saw messages on my phone saying that everybody would be swinging around to say hi at about 11. I got a separate message from Lydia saying she would be coming at 9 because she still hadn’t sorted out whatever was going on with Clare.

I went back down to the bench I was at yesterday. I liked it there, it calmed me and I didn’t know why, it just did. I had been there for about 10 minutes when a girl sat down next to me. Neither of us said anything at first but then she spoke. Her voice was soft but there was a sense of peace and security behind it.

“Is it okay if we talk, I understand if it’s not? I mean we are strangers but I suppose that’s why I want to do it because we don’t know each other.” I turned to look at her. Her skin was grey and she had a hollow look about her. Wilted and dull blonde hair cascaded down one of her shoulders as she pulled it across. She looked like she was dying, maybe she was. But I could tell that once she was beautiful.

“Sure. What did you want to talk about?” I smiled. A smile appeared on her face in reply.

“I’ve been curious about you. Ever since I saw you sitting down here on my bench yesterday, you looked different compared to the other people that come and sit at my bench with me” she cocked her head slightly to the right and looked me over but not in a condescending way, more with the curiosity.

“Your bench?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yes, even the hospital staff know it’s mine, if I’m not in my room they know this is where to come find me. I’ve been here long enough. But don’t be worried you have permission from me to occupy it” a cheeky grin spread across her face and her blue eyes glinted with mischief.

“How long have you been here?” I questioned. I felt rude afterwards but she didn’t seem put off by how straight forward she was being.

“I’m not entirely sure actually. Is it sad if I say it’s seems like I’ve never been anywhere else? That I know this hospital like the back of my hand? That if someone put me back on the streets of Brisbane I’d need a GPS to find my way back to what other people call my real home? I think it’s only been a year but to me it feels like a lifetime” she shrugged and then looked out over the empty park.

“It is sad, but not in the pitiful sense, in the sense that it seems like you’ve been through so much. That’s the reason I don’t want to go on dialysis, I don’t want this hospital or the one back home in England to become my home. Now is that sad? Me being scared of something that would barely happen, visits to a hospital? I don’t want the rest of my life to revolve around a schedule while I wait for a kidney.” I muttered. I didn’t know why I was pouring my problems out to this girl I didn’t even know, I just was and it felt nice because she was sharing her thoughts with me too.

“Failing kidneys then, that sucks. I do understand what you mean by the way. But I was never scared of the hospital being my home. I was just scared of dieing.” She breathed.

“I’m scared of dieing too” I whispered.

“I understand what you’re feeling but you misunderstand me, I was scared of dieing but I’m not anymore. I haven’t been scared of dieing for a long time. It was here actually, on this very bench that I stopped being scared” she explained with a sad smile on her face.

“How did you do it, stop being scared I mean?” I looked in her eyes, desperate to stop feeling this way. I kept on a brave face around all my friends when in reality I was scared shitless.

“I just thought one day ‘what’s the point?’ What was the point of being scared? It wasn’t making me get any better. I felt better when I just let it go. I’m going to die but I’m not going to go scared. Now I’ll go happy or maybe at peace is a better phrase” she chuckled. What she said made sense. So I took a deep breath and let go.