If I Die Tonight | h.s. sequel

{5} One Hundred Sleepless Nights

Do you still love me?

I am dying to know

Or did you forget what we shared?

Out of sight, out of mind

I was never even there

- One Hundred Sleepless Nights (Pierce the Veil)

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After a very awkward thirty-minute shower with Harry shouting questions about Graduation and the Prom-which I never went to- I got dressed in simple shorts, a white shirt, and a long, patterned sweater that was about one inch shorter than my shorts.

As I was taking a look outside to evade Harry, I figured out that it was pouring rain outside. The winds were making the trees swoon and topple from side to side and the blue sky was covered in dark clouds that reached the horizon. Even though it was barely 11o'clock, it seemed so dark and eerie out.

I sighed, looking outside at the downpour of rain,"Well today is not a productive day,"

"Well, I guess I have to stay here longer," Harry smirked as he rummaged through my closet and pulled a series of dresses out and placed them on the other extremity of the wardrobe. I death glared him and as soon as he realized I was staring at him, he raised his hands up in defense as he scoffed,"Oh, come on, you can't blame me for the weather."

I rolled my eyes, closing the light curtains and laying on my bed as I played with my thumbs, "I can try."

"What did you have to do today anyways?" He enunciated 'have' in a teasing form to show that he lived a more relaxed life than me.

Sitting up, I pushed my hair back, thinking and recalling my schedule for today,"I had to go sign up to become a counselor for a volleyball camp with Mac."

"How bloody American of you," He said with a weird sarcastic tone, but it didn't stop there. Harry squinted one eye and pointed at me, throwing the blouse he had on his hand onto the floor,"But you don't sound too excited? Why would you go do something you don't want to do?"

"I don't know," I shrugged and looked down at my hands that were meddling around with loose threads of my sweater. It was hard to even begin to ponder about how I'm casually talking to someone who cause me so much pain by simply stepping out of my life. Clearly, I remember how this camp was all Mac and I wanted ever since Junior year- you know, finally being eighteen and helping other people out with physical stuff. "Before I met you, this camp was so important to me. But now, things that mattered so much to me- I don't know, they don't carry as much importance."

I didn't expect him to understand anything I was saying. In fact, I awaited for his laughter that would ricochet its way into my ear and warm me up the way a sweater or a coat never could. But the laughter never came. Actually, all he did was stare at me with an understanding and defeated expression,"You're saying I basically ruined your life plans."

"I-I didn't say that," My eyes widened and panic began to arise in me.

But of course my stuttering and alarming figure did not even affect Harry as he shook his head,"You're implying it."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and explained what I had kept to myself for so long."You didn't ruin my life when you came into it, however, when I- I don't know- built my life around you, everything just came crumbling down."

"So, I left you when you needed me the most. That's even better." He stood up from the bed and desperately ran his long, now-tanned fingers through his dark hair.

But I was shaking my head, for he didn't understand what I was trying to say. "Harry, you were the first person that broke my heart-lets not forget that part- and you will always be that person to me."