The Space Between The Sand And The Sea By Nailinthewall

My downfall, my muse

Sometimes I wonder if you even like me as a human being. I just feel like you wouldn't care if I died. I seem to be the one wasting my time on you and you seem like the awkward person who is forced into a conversation with me. But the thing is, I can't even ask you because in my mind if you say you like me or love me even, you're just being nice and lying to me. You're either too nice to tell me to fuck off or I don't know, I'm the fish on your hook that you find entertaining. Am I your friend or just this random girl who talks too much? Do you have a girlfriend? Because you don't act like you do. You act like you're all alone. I don't know if it'd make me happy if you had someone loving you or not. Actually, let's face it I'd be happy for you but I'd be dying inside. More than I already am. You initiated this whole thing but you dont attempt to help it along. I think loving you is the worst and best thing I've ever done. I mean, you're this talented guy who's so pure and good. It's like you're too perfect, too good and too right for me. But who am I to you? I know who you are to me. But I can't read minds. And my insecure nature isn't helping anything. And I'm a girl with one talent and a boring, plain Jane compared to you. I sit at home and wallow in depression while you live life to the fullest. We're not compatible but I wish we were. I love you but I guess love is overrated. I'm sick of this shit. But I can't let you go. If you hate me for still talking to you I don't care, I NEED you like my next breath and I'll drown without you. I'll just have to sit and pretend that you haven't ruined me for other guys. Honestly, you're so perfect that no guy will ever compare to you. And we haven't even dated. That's the worst thing. I can't let you go because one day I'll see and hear you on TV and I'll have to listen to your voice and regret letting you go. I really want to cry just thinking of the articles they'll write about all the girls you date and all the lovely words you'll say that I'll wish were about me.