The Space Between The Sand And The Sea By Nailinthewall

dear hymn

There are so many thoughts within me
Questions that you could ask and you'd still never fully understand me
I am just that type of human being
There's a little bit of everything in me
A poison from everyone I know has seared through me
But only one person holds the heroin I need
My key to survival
And they already have a heroine in their story
I pretend that I don't mind
That I'm glad for them
But seeing them makes me lose control
Surrender to the ghost of envy
That seems to suffocate me
Turning me into something ugly
Stealing the air that I need to breathe
It will never get easy
But hey, I'm happy you're happy
I'm trapped in this alone
But seeing you sadder than you are would be worse
You are the smoke I inhale
The catalyst to my disease
My reckoning angel with blood in his veins
You're more than this poem
More than your name
More than me losing my brain.