Suna's Ninja (Gaara Love Story)

50: Finding Hope

You wife, Akimi Heng no Sabaku is dead. The operation was a failure, and I-I'm sorry for your loss.

Gaara stared out the window of the nursery he and Akimi had set up together during the early stages of her pregnancy. He watched the twins sleeping side-by-side in the baby bed propped up beside the changing table. Both were snuggly tucked in pastel green and violet onesies, and about an hour ago, Gaara and Kayo had easily tackled the diaper changing duty, while Temari and Kankuro took over his office.

Now, it was just him and the children.

Why was it always him? His mother, his father, even his siblings, and now--

--my wife, my other half.

The gaping hole in his chest swelled in agony. The tears stubbornly refused to fall.

"Gaara, you need to give your emotions an outlet sometimes. It's not healthy to bottle them up," Akimi said, pulling him into a hug. "And no, killing sprees is not an option."

"I know."

Gaara practiced deep breathing, a mediation Akimi had instilled inside of him. The tension twisting like a tightly wounded clock in his chest began unraveling bit by bit, but it was still too painful.

"When you inhale, your diaphragm expands. So your stomach inflates."

"And the opposite happens when I exhale?"

"Right you are."

"Gaara," Temari called from the door. "I'm making tea. Do you want honey or sugar?"

"I'll take it with honey. Add some lemon and mint." Honey helped heaps already when he was exhausted, but Akimi always added mint and lemon in his tea. Sometimes for a triple effect, she would pour the tea over ice.

"Gaara..." Temari trailed off.

"I don't want to forget her. Even if remembering her death is painful, I'd rather live through the pain than--"

"--Gaara, I understand."

So he quieted and continued staring at the peaceful sandy streets out the window. Minutes later, Temari pulled a chair up against the window and handed him a large glass of sweet ice tea. She cradled her hands around her mug, nursing the hot tea in her own cup.

They were silent, keeping each other company with opposing teas and little memories.

A wail of a baby came from the crib. Seconds later, the other child woke up and began fussing too.

"Oh, it's time for their midnight feeding," Temari groused, standing to her feet, her brother not far from behind. "Get the powder."

Gaara swiftly seized the baby formula powder and empty baby bottles with corresponding caps.

"Water? Oh, we forgot to boil it," Temari stressed, trying to calm the crying babies.

"I thought we set an alarm?" Gaara called over the intense cries.

"Maybe we didn't?" She yelled back. "Kayo? We need help!"

Seconds later, Kayo was in the room, shushing the children, while Gaara heated some water in the electric kettle. Temari sighed and sank into a chair, staring at the boiling water.

"Akimi-san would have scolded you two that the water should be already boiling before the twins' feeding," Kayo pipped up. Temari coughed out a laugh.

"She would have been like, 'you need to prepare everything before the kids wake up!' She would have gotten everything out in like seconds and feed them at the same time."

"Or tell us that we shouldn't set up an alarm, and thankfully we didn't," Kayo continued. "Unless it was a silent alarm, we would have woken up the twins far too early and still have no milk."

"I bet she would roll right out of bed without an alarm or waking me up and feed them both on time," Gaara smiled softly, pouring the even blend of boiling water and cool water in the baby bottles.

"She would have scolded us all. 'Kayo, you need to sleep, I can handle this!'."

"Or 'Temari, hold the baby and don't run around. You'll jerk his or her brain right out!."

"'Gaara, don't raise the bottle too high. They'll choke!'." The girls chuckled, while Gaara cradled Naki in one arm and gently pushed the nip of the bottle at her mouth. He didn't realize he had been so tense, until he had exhaled. Temari had was holding Suko similarly and feeding his son.

"'Gaara, you'll be a great father. Just always ask help from Temari or Kayo'," Temari said, mimicking Akimi's voice. "'Just don't trust Kankuro. Who knows what he's doing'."

"Yeah, I will," Gaara replied softly. He smiled gently at his daughter and looked up to see his son falling back to sleep slowly. "I'll become the best father for them."

"I bet Akimi-san would be proud to hear you say that," Kayo murmured, leaning back against the chair.