Homo In Denial (boyxboy)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – 

Okay, how does this shitty narration work? Alright, I think I got the hang of it or whatever. So like the names Giovanni and I just fucked it up big time with John Neil. Neils. Neil. He says Neil, but then he says Neils. Maybe when he is nervous he messes up. Whatever, I don’t really care that much. (Lies) Regardless of it, at the moment I am seriously irked by him.

*I am not usually this irked with someone.

Hanging out with fucking Johnny… Okay. Maybe I should back it up a bit? Yeah, just a bit. Let’s start, say, around the time I met him. Oh yes a nice old recap. Let’s begin around the time he moved in.

A ball of nervous, stuttering, and stares, which happen to be directed right at me; pretty fucking obvious that he’s digging me hard. His mother, when I first met her, total slut. It’s amazing how this boy came out to be like that. So yes, I start teasing him and prodding him. Little nudges whatnot via accidentally, purposely, physically, or even emotionally. Then of course, I must admit, I wanted to bond with the fellow. Since I was going to live with him for however long, I might as well get to know him. So when he suggested the whole hanging out thing I suggested we go to the carnival and hit it off… very nicely.

Our relationship grew. Yada, yada, and more fucks. Whatever, then he started getting more involved with the other guys, and I guess I felt a little ignored but only because he’s digging me and it’s like losing one of my fangirls. It hurts, a lot, to miss one of your pussies. Okay, said that wrong. Whatever, it’s not like I care and shit.

Then came the first time we did it. No not the whole Lacy problem, like the first time we did it. I didn’t remember. (Go figure) I could tell though, the smell of me in the air, the whole he was dressed, how he was when I told him I couldn’t remember anything last night. I’m not stupid, this has happened before, and the reaction with whomever I’ve done it with is consistent. First come denial, then sadness, then complete heartbreak. I was going to make it up to him, since I felt bad for some fucking reason, but he was happy and cheery the next day.

*I must say I felt kind of weird when he didn’t start frowning on me like most dudes or girls. By then they’d have asked me what they meant to me. And my immediate answer would be, “Nothing of much importance.”

Then this and that happened, we managed to do it again. My fault on that one, it’s just that… he felt so good the first time. I don’t remember anything the first time we did it, but the way he felt in my hands, I just knew it was him. And I couldn’t stop myself from ravaging him.

Afterwards, I could just fucking tell, the dude liked me or loved me. I don’t know. Yet I could tell and then it slipped my mouth. ‘Friends with Benefits Idea’, the whole friends rule, the whole not monogamous RULE. THOSE FUCKING RULES just slipped my mouth. Yeah, they were sets of rules I set up in my head and shit but I didn’t mean to tell John that. Right then and there anyways, just having him out of the loop of the rules was fine with me.

But then he got that sad look on his face and looked as though he clammed up. Because of me he rejected the idea of him being gay. Having him do that just because I might as well have said, “Oh lol no you me? No, I don’t do that sweetie. I don’t do my guy friends, not to mention, I don’t do relationships. Shut up.”

Of course that didn’t put too much strain in the relationship but it was in the back of my head. So we went back to normal, he started spending more time with Alyssa and Taylor. Taylor a fine being, whom I wouldn’t mind taking a spin on…

Then he almost got to Taylor, I got mad, and we did it the third time. Well not really, kind of like rape. So I raped him and he was just fine with it. I didn’t know what was going through that dumb thick skull of his. I just couldn’t understand, so I felt sorry. I felt as though I should make it up to him.