But of course, the line: I would never ever embarrass myself, was better said than done. A few days later, I found out that Mike was the First Floor Boys' representative in the videoke night and it somehow shook my confidence.
"Ha? Kahibalo diay s'ya mokanta?"
"Basin, Gwaps. Kay nganong s'ya man ang representative kung dili?"
"Huwat sa..." I started to hyperventilate.
"Hoy, Yanna, okay ra ka?"
"Nganu man?"
"What do you mean nganu man?"
"Nganung s'ya man ang contestant? I would rather have him in the audience because I can totally not look his way. Pero, kung contestant s'ya...he'd be sitting on that stage with the other contestants while I'm singing."
I turned to Shane. "Gwaps, maybe someone can take my place?"
"Dili ko sure. And I couldn't just force someone to be our representative. Na-istoryahan na baya ni nato, 'di ba? Ikaw ang maayo mokanta diri sa atuang floor. Kung kahibalo pa lang ko mokanta ako na ang moadtu sa stage just to spare you."
"Oh, my God..."
"Yanna, calm down."
"Dili ko gusto nga sug-sugon ko sa mga tao. What if he's a jerk and he told everyone about what he heard?"
"Do you think he'd do that?"
"I don't know. We didn't even know nga makasabot s'ya ug Bisaya, that guy is totally full of surprises."
"Yanna..." Shane took my hands in hers. "Namugnaw na ka, stop it."
"I need to calm down..." I murmured.
"Yes, you do. Naunsa man ka, uy, affected man kaayo ka niya?" Let's back out. Dili na moapil ang ato-ang floor sa event—"
I shook my head. "Dili na mau akong buot pasabot."
"I know and I understand. Look, Gwaps, you're like a sister to me and I wouldn't force you to do something that you are obviously uncomfortable doing. Pasagdi na lang gud nang points para sa ato-ang floor, bawi na lang ta next time."
"Naa pa diay next time?" I asked in a small voice.
Shane smiled. "Wala na, pero, who cares? Okay ra, it's just a silly contest."
"A silly contest that our floor has been preparing for weeks."
"Gwaps, no pressure. I know the feeling. Adtung Grade IV ta unya ako representative sa ato-ang class para sa impromptu speaking?"
"Kadtung natarantar ka kay naa si Russel sa atubangan sa stage?"
"Oo. Sa ako-ang katarantar minghilak na lang ko."
"Pero, abi nako okay ra ka?"
"That's what I told myself. I didn't want you and my family to worry. But, honestly, it took me years to get over it. And I don't want you to go through something like that kay traumatic kaayo s'ya."
"Pero, zero ang points sa Centerfold Girls unya dili na ta makaapas—"
"Okay ra, uy. Dili man points atong giapas kay we're here for the experience, 'di ba?"
"Shane..." I gave my best friend a hug. "Love ta kaayo ka, Gwaps. You take care of me like I'm your own daughter..."
"Kulbaan pud ta anang daughter, uy," she said laughing. "Pero, love ta pud ka. Dili ko gusto nga dili nimu ma-enjoy ang Kalayaan kay naa kay dili maayo nga experience."
