Snapshot (Alexbelle)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Alexander Ludwig never called me back.

I had my phone by my side for days straight, but his number had never shown up again.

I don't know what hurts worse; the fact that he stopped calling or the fact that I never answered.

I don't see him, but I hear he is doing well. I hear that he's successful, which is great.

I hear that everyone is doing great. I see them all on occasion.

But never Alexander.

I remember that I was laying on the couch one day, flipping through the television channels. I stopped when I saw Alexander's face on one of them. I don't know what channel or what show, but it was him. He was talking in some foreign accent, and then I realized that I will never get over him.

After a while, mom and Madeline stopped worrying. They figured I would just get over him. And I did, to an extent. But he is always on my mind.

I've been busy with filming over the past two years. I'd say that my career is just starting to kick off, and I hope I go far with it. Perhaps Alexander would have just held me back. Maybe it was the other way around.

I might never know why Alexander stopped calling me. I might never want to know.

It was right after my 16th birthday that I did see him. I was in my new car, going through the drive through at Starbucks. When I had ordered my coffee, I looked out the window. And there he was, walking across the parking lot with a coffee in hand. He didn't turn his head to my car. He just walked in front of it over to his.

I wish I did see him. But according to the rest of the cast, they never see him either. When I go to lunch with Jack, Dayo, Amandla, or Jackie, I always ask them. Nobody hears from him.

I try to convince myself that this is for the best. That Alexander would only have ended up hurting me, like he did anyways. I try and convince myself that we could never have been together anyways.

But no matter how much convincing I do, I can never get myself over him. Seven billion people in the world, and my heart chose him, the boy that I can't have.

I am seventeen now; almost exactly two years since I actually talked to him. Between my acting classes and trying to complete my senior year of high school, I never have any free time. But I would make free time for him. But I probably never will be able to.

I don't even follow him on any social media anymore. I guess if I wanted to stay more in touch with him, I would. But he stopped following me a long time ago.

Madeline always tells me that he is a jerk and is not worth my time. Mom decides not to talk about it anymore. Sydney and Zach just say I am not the friend I used to be and they wish that this never happened. And that hurts.

It didn't take a lot of convincing to realize that I never wished this happened either. I wouldn't trade working on the movie for the world, but I would trade working with Alexander. I mean, I love him, but I only associate him with hurt now.

Jackie tells me to just text him or write him or something. She tells me it would be easier than actually talking to him. But would would I say? Dear Alexander Ludwig, thank you for being the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.

Yeah, that'll never happen.

I keep thinking, that after two years, this hurt would go away. But it doesn't. It's just like an ache that stays constantly; sometimes it's bearable, but sometimes it's terrible.

Jack tells me to go on dates with other people. I've actually tried that. I've been on a few dates with Josh, and sort of enjoyed myself. But the same feeling always returns, and I don't want to end up hurting Josh.

I try to let it sink in that he doesn't care about me. I tell myself over and over that he has moved on and probably doesn't even think about me. I tell myself that he will never have the feelings that I have for him.

There's always a part of me that has hope, though. Alexander might never love me again, but I will always love him.

God, I'm tired of associating him with the word "never".

Wow extremely short chapter! I'm embarrassed by this chapter but I'm having writers block 😞 and I needed to kind of include the time change deal so sorry for that. Uh, next chapter will be better I hope. no comments still 😏 thanks for the votes though!