The change

I feel really bad

Niall walked behind me slowly as I was going down the stairs. Seeing everyone sitting in the couch watching TV. The news was on right in front of the apartment building. The news caster was saying that there was an accident with two people coming to visit from England and the couple died. "The last names of the couple was Styles" said the news caster said. Harry comes down the stairs and sees the tv and asks what happens.

"Hey Harry can we talk in the other room" Louis gestured to go to the kitchen.

I am going to cry I felt bad and I gave Niall a hug and burying my head In his chest. Harry came back in tears and I asked Niall if I could give him a hug cause I felt bad and he said that was ok.

I went up to Harry and gave him a hug and told him everything was ok.

"It's ok Harry, I love you everything will be ok I promise you still have us that love you ok?" I told him sympathetically. He simply smiled and nodded and I squeezed him as tight as I could with me on my tippy toes with my arms around his neck. His hands are around my waist and he's hugging me tight too.

Liam told me that the double date was cancelled and that we should head off to bed since we have been up for 2 hours crying so we agreed. I went up to my room and went to my closet. I took the shirt over my head and threw it on the ground and put on a XL pink tank top with black shorty shorts. I exit the closet and went to the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror and cried wondering what and why? Niall came in and gave me a hug and cried too. But I needed the hug and he wanted us to go to bed but I needed to clean my face. I let go from the hug and turned toward the sink and splashed water in my face.

I was hesitant on what I was going to do but Niall exited the bathroom and I closed the door behind him. I thought about it but I took the chance I pulled my shirt over my head and watched it fall to the floor. I pulled the drawer open and pulled out a razor. I took the double blade to my skin and swiped. I winced at the pain and I took it again and swiped. I did this 5 more times and I winced more.

I took gauze and wrapped it around my stomach to stop the bleeding. And threw the razor away. I put my shirt on and opened the door. I saw Niall lying there with a concerned face. He came a walked up to me and I told him to kiss me.

He put his hand on the side of my face a brought my face to his and gently pecked my lips with his. I put my hand on his chest. He came a little harsher and bites my lip and I moaned. He put his lips to mine and peaked his tongue through. I let it pass and I put my tongue in his mouth. He was putting his hands on my waist and was going to pull my shirt up but I stopped him.

"Babe? What's wrong you always let me go this far?" He whispered to my lips as he took a breath.

"I'm just not feeling it tonight. Sorry." I felt bad for lying but I wanted to go that far and I always do.

He pecked my lips again and carried me to bed.

"Ow!!" I winced as he plopped me down.

"You ok? Did I hurt you?" Niall asked and looked really concerned at this point.

"No I just have stomach cramps." I tried to sound believable but I didn't work that well.

"Oh ok. Well anything I can do let me know" he said so sweetly and honest. Making me guilty as fuck.

He turned off the table lamp and I got under the covers and took a deep breath in as I fell asleep.

✨✨✨✨ 3 hours later.✨✨✨✨

I wake up to screaming. I look up and Niall's out cold. I walk out of bed and walk out into the hallway. I try to listen to what room it is but it's in the guest bedroom. I walk into the guest bedroom to see a screaming Harry. I walk over and sit next to him and shake him trying to wake him. He jumps up and is sweating and breathing really deeply. He turns on the light. Next to the bed and I sit there.

"You ok Harry?" I say really concerned.

"No I just had a nightmare and it was awful cause now that my parents have died it's worse" he said almost tearing up slightly.

"I know it is but I know what you're going through." I say really softly.

He looks down at my stomach and gasps. I try not to see what he's looking at.

"Sky? You didn't?" he exclaimed. I nodded my head and a tear rolled down my face.

He grabbed me and hugged me. I cried in his shirt.

"I got depressed and I did it niall doesn't know ok?" It's just between you and me." I told him and he nodded.

"Sky can I tell you something?" Harry asked me in a way that sounded not like Harry.

"Yeah you can ask me anything." I told him as it is the complete and honest truth.

"Do you think you would like me as much as you like Niall?" I was shocked by this question. Because I love Harry as a friend but I care about him a lot too. But, to be honest I don't have a clue.

"Harry I love you as my best friend and I care about you a ton. But, I don't know if there can be an us." I told him with a smile. He smiled back and I gave him a hug.

"Ok well that's all I wanted to know, but, I've liked you since the beginning Sky I hope you know that" he said and I smiled again because he isn't that bad of a guy. I came up from the hug and he leaned up and pecked my lips with his and dropped back down.

He smiled at me and I smiled back blushing actually. I turned my head quickly when I heard a voice. It was Louis.

"Hey Sky? What's up?" he asks and looks down at me. He also goes wide eyed. He takes my hand and pulls me up for a hug.

"OMG Skylar Jean Malik!! I'm telling Zayn and Perrie!!!!" He said to me and I almost cried. He looked at me and he looked sorry. He pulled me in for a hug and told me everything was alright.

Harry got up out of the bed and stood behind me. Louis looked at Harry and let me go to give Harry a hug which is understandable but, he gave me a hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room.

"Is he actually going to tell?" I asked Harry and he shook his head and I took a breath of relief. But Harry took me downstairs and got me a new shirt and sat me on the counter to clean off my cuts.

He took the cold paper towel a dabbed the cut gently but I winced in pain. I squeezed the kitchen counter like I was a cat holding on to a tree branch.

I put the shirt over my head and I walked over to the couch and fell asleep. With no clue what's going on.