Dwindle

chapter 8

Jordan Fey killed herself on Friday, January 28th.

My heart was torn in two that day.

The announcement that a student had committed suicide had rang over the speaker. But no one suspected a girl like Fey.

Her parents had found her in her bathroom, over dosed they said.

Her parents blamed me, and they still do after 6 years.

They said before I came around she was on her way to great things.

And I was the one who stopped her from it.

I broke down crying that day, I still cant believe I had the nerve to cry over her, I was the one who did that to her, Yet I said I loved her.

I arrived at her funeral, she looked graceful in her casket, almost angelic, like her old self.

Before she was buried, I went to her side, I said three words that I never had told her.

When I should have.

I said I was sorry, but this time

I meant it.

"I love you Fey" I whispered to her.

But Now as I look back on this traumatizing event in my life, where I let my true love slip from my grasp, and now here I am 21 years old, and I look back on all of this, remembering how bad I messed up and wanting more than anything in the world, to just fix all of it.

But that cant happen.

Never take anything for granted, for just one mistake can make everything go downhill, and the things you say, can mean the death of someone you cared for.

I will always remember Jordan Fey as the optimist, happy, and beautiful girl that I first met, and not the girl I turned her into.

And all I want her to know now, Is I will never forget her impact on my life, and Im sorry I was such a negative impact on hers. I was sorry for being the reason hers ended.

Im sorry Fey, I will never forget you.

And even though you probably cant here me, and I most definitely do not deserve it, but

Can please forgive me,

Because Im sorry

And I will always scold myself each morning I think of you.

And how I had destroyed you.

I love you Jordan Fey, your memory lives on in everyone you've touched with your kindness and love, Ill see you soon.

- Caleb Tanner