you'll never fade to me. - a Luke Hemmings story

10.

'Another strike? Are you fucking kidding me?' Luke shouted at me and started laughing. We were at Hollywood's Bowling Alley, one that Bev and I used to go to as kids. In all the one and a half weeks I've been here, I haven't seen Luke this happy even when talking about the wedding. Why did that make my heart flutter so much?

'I told you I'm good', I said. He picked up an orange bowling ball and rolled it, only taking out 4 pins.

'Ugh! How do you do it?', he asked while handing me a ball.

'Here, like this.' I said and guided his fingers to hold the ball correctly. When our skin made contact, I could feel his eyes boring into my face but I looked down, pretending it didn't affect me. He cleared his throat, quickly said a 'thanks' and rolled it, now outing 8 pins.

'Val, look! I did it!', he jumped up like a little kid and shouted in my ear. It was almost too cute to bear and I had to physically contain myself when he hugged me.

'Thanks for teaching me, that'll definitely come in handy when I'm playing with the guys.' He was still hugging me, one of his hands around my waist and the other on my back, my skin hot underneath them. I lightly put my hands on his back and hugged him back; he smelt like mint and aftershave and I couldn't help but close my eyes. My stomach squeezed up and I felt so content in that moment that I didn't even realise that the hug was lasting longer than usual ones. Luke pulled away and I cleared my throat, wanting to diffuse the tension. He was still smiling and it felt so bright that I had to smile too.

Half an hour later, and Luke almost winning (may I repeat, almost), I went to get us 2 blue slushies. Waiting at the counter, I looked back at him and he was sitting on one of the seats alone and smiling to himself. Did I cause that? Why was he still smiling when the game was over, he had lost and noone could even see him? It made my heart ache knowing that it should be Bev here right now, not me. It should be her making him happy and caring for him and not some random girl from London who'll have to move away soon anyway. For a second, I let myself think about Luke freely without feeling guilty; today when he had talked to me about the wedding I felt so happy to finally have him open up to me. He was the definition of sweet suburban boy and so different from everyone back home that I found myself entranced by how caring he was even if he didn't need to be. After all, I was basically a nobody to him. I stared at him sitting down, fiddling with his fingers and I wanted to kiss him so bad. At that moment, I didn't care how selfish and screwed up I sounded, why couldn't I be the one that kisses his pink lips and dances with him and plays with his hair? The reality of the moment set in though and I knew I had fucked up; if he kept being this sweet to me, I'd end up getting serious feelings for him.

Not noticing that the lady had already come back with the slushies, Luke had walked up and paid for them both. I snapped out of my ridiculous thoughts, my mood suddenly dropping. I need to push him away before I completely lose it and break my own and my sister's heart. I forced my face to comply and snatched the slushie from his hand and grabbed the keys from the table we had been at, heading for the exit.

'Val?', Luke followed me, jogging slightly to catch up to me and it hurt me to hear the hurt in his voice too but I knew it was for the best. If there was even a small possibility that I could screw up my sister's wedding, then I needed to stop completely. You'll be okay Val, just a week and a half more and you'll be out of here forever.

I didn't reply as he kept shouting after me until we were both in the car, me starting it as soon as I could and trying to pretend the awkward silence wasn't choking me. I haven't felt something like this in a long time, even if it was just a little crush.

'Can you just talk to me? Why did you run out like that?' Luke asked and I didn't want to look at his face because I knew I might spill everything if I do.

'What did I do?', he asked and I wanted to slap myself for hurting him. Why did it matter to him what I did anyway? He was probably just scared that Bev would hear about this and he'd get shouted at.

'You didn't do anything, just leave it alone.' I said, trying to keep my tone nonchalant.

'Then what is it? We were having fun and you just left, it must have been something I did or said.'

'Just shut up, Luke! Drop it.', I shouted and as much as I immediately regretted it, I knew it was necessary. I stole a glance at him and he had turned away from me, silent now, and was facing the window. The sun was setting now and it shone on his face brightly, smoothing out his features. His lips were pursed tight and he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

We sat like that the whole drive home, me pretending I was mad and him having an unreadable expression on his face. I shut the engine off and before I could even leave the car, he slammed the door shut, marching into the house. It made me feel funny to see him angry but I felt a sense of relief knowing that at least I wouldn't have to face him or what he makes me feel for at least a couple of days.

I grabbed the suit out of the trunk, walking into the house. I smelt a chicken roast but instead of feeling hungry, I wanted to throw up. Bev immdiately ran towards me and grabbed the suit, checking it out. Luke was noone to be found but I didn't have time to think of that before Bev was shouting again.

'Where the hell were you for that long? God, I sent Luke to get you hours ago and you just come back now!'

'Sorry, we couldn't decide on a suit.'

'This one's nice, he's gonna look so sexy.' I faked a small smile and nodded but my insides churned at that word. 'Sexy'. It made my head ache that I would never be able to say that out loud.

'Guys, come on! The table's ready!' My mum shouted from the kitchen and dad waved Bev and I over, but as soon as I saw Luke helping mum with slicing the chicken, I lost all appetite.

'I'm not hungry, sorry.', I said and headed upstairs to my room but not before I made eye contact with Luke, who gave me an intense stare before turning to talk to Bev who had kissed his cheek and started speaking.