you'll never fade to me. - a Luke Hemmings story

15.

Luke's POV

Waking up the next morning was exactly as bad as I had imagined it would be. I slept about two hours and I felt myself trapped in the heat of Bev's body so often that I almost couldn't stand it. Heading to the kitchen, I made breakfast for everyone because it's not like I had anything better to do.

Still in just my boxers, I sat on the sofa and thought about last night. It's like there was a constant battle in my head and I couldn't make my mind up about Val or Bev which made me feel like some sort of horrible fuckboy.

Bev was great, she was pretty and funny and she was kind enough to let me be such an important part of her family when she knew how bad my home life was. On the other hand, it's like my opinion of her has shifted ever since Val told me about what Bev did to her in high school. The thought of Val made me smile and I caught myself before it reached my cheeks because the guilt I felt outweighed whatever cuteness Val had to offer. The image of her in that dress burned into my mind permanently but I chose to ignore the pang of jealousy I felt when she snuggled up to Ash's blazer. It was bad enough picking her up from the date, let alone having to hear about it from Ash soon; he'll be telling me how hot she is and how much he wants to see her again and I'll have to sit there and listen to it all.

Shaking my head at myself, I walked upstairs to take a shower. It relaxed me and as always, I felt myself belting out some tune that would get me in a better mood. Still singing, I got out to do my hair as I heard a loud banging on the bathroom door and then Bev stormed in, her makeup-less face etched in anger.

'Can you shut the fuck up? People are trying to sleep, Luke!', she shouted and I felt like a child being scolded by a parent.

'Sorry, I thought you guys wouldn't hear me, you know I always sing in the shower and it never seemed to bother you before', I said, exhibiting nowhere near enough strength as I had hoped.

'It's always bothered me, I've just shut up about it because you liked doing it but I don't want to hear it every morning for the rest of my life so can you please keep your shitty singing to your band? Thanks.", she said before walking out. She got into moods like this sometimes, where she'd say stuff she didn't mean and then apologise later. But this was different; this wasn't her telling me I'm dressed like an idiot or that I don't know how to drive properly, this was her insulting something that I actually cared about and I didn't know how to react.

I stared at my face in the mirror, feeling my eyes tear up a bit, whether it was from anger or sadness I'm not sure. My chest was still wet from the shower and my boxers clung too me too tightly but I didn't have enough time to regain my composure before Val stumbled in, which she seems to be doing a lot of lately.

'Oh my god, Luke! I'm so sorry, I felt like I was gonna vom and I didn't wanna do it in my room.' she said, words falling over themselves and her apologetic eyes looking everywhere but me. When she finally looked in my eyes, her mood changed completely,

'Luke, what's wrong? What happened?' she asked, coming closer to me. The door of the bathroom was still open and this must have looked very weird to anyone if they passed by now. This is exactly what I didn't want happening; Bev's seen me cry before and I hated every moment of it because I felt too vulnerable and awkward. And now Val too.

I took in her features; big brown eyes with her makeup still a bit smudged from yesterday, her hair falling on her face with waves and her still in that dress, thankfully not wearing Ashton's blazer. She was gorgeous and it made me feel so guilty and confused to think that that I felt tears flow out of my eyes properly now. When did my life get like this? It seems like I was completely stuck and there was absolutely no decision I could make that would be the right one.