A Letter to Him

Going forward

Yes, every relationship needs to be fixed. Always settle for the best, it could be: trying to work things out or finally end it in a right way. Not like the two of you still hold grudges because you think your relationship failed. Not like you blame the other because you think s/he gave the least for your relationship to work out. No, don't. Being separated doesn't mean your relationship failed. It's a success, why? Because both of you realize that it's better not to be lovers. I hope you got the point.

"They get back together?" Tanong ni Gab

"Yeap, at least Tanya gave Jeric another chance." I answered her

"Pero obviously naman, sobra na pagpapasensya nya kay Jeric." Giit pa ni Gab

"The only person who deserves a second chance is the one who's willing to grab it." I can see Jeric's sincerity on winning Tanya back. I know he wants her back, so why not give him a chance to prove it.

"Ikaw na lang sana naging boyfriend ko." Tumitig sakin si Gab.

"Hindi ka nyan type." Singit ni Andrew.

"Oh tapos? Sino magkatype sakin, ikaw?" Pagtataray ni Gab kay Andrew.

"By the way, san nyo ba balak magsummer? Dito lang ba kayo?" Tanong ni Krizzy sa barkada

Prang nagisip ng matagal si Andrew. "Pinapapunta ako ni mom sa Italy. Dun muna daw ako since wala pa ko nakikita na work dito."

"Then, kung magustuhan mo don?" Tanong ni Krizzy

"Let's see what will happen. Pero kung feel ko naman talaga don, dun na sana ko lumaki." Sabi ni Andrew

"Gusto ko magpunta sa bahay natin sa Tagaytay, kaya lang, baka ang kalat na don. Di pa napupunta ulit sina mommy no?" Tanong ni Gab kay Krizzy

"Nagsstay dun minsan si tito Eric, siguro naman nililinis nya yun." SAgot ni Krizzy

"Ikaw bro? Gusto mo, sumama ka na lang sakin sa Italy?" tanong skain ni Andrew

"Hindi ko alam eh. I've got other plans, Mr. Serafini. Gusto ko pa mag aral." Sagot ko sa kanila.

"What?? My gosh. Nagsawa nga ako sa 4year course na kinuha ko, tapos ikaw gusto mo pa mag aral? You're really weird." sabi ni Gab

"Yun ang gusto nya." Sabi ni Krizzy kay Gab. "Ipagpatuloy mo sa Law?" Tanong sakin.

"No, I discussed this with my parents and they're ok with me if I'll study Dentistry."

"Dentistry? Bro, ang layo naman sa course mo." Tanong sakin ni Andrew

"Pano ba. maganda lang kasi yung school na pinasahan ko sa Accountancy, kaya tinuloy ko." Sagot ko sa kanila. "I'll be leaving on Monday."

Natawa si Gab. "Bakit, san bang lupalop ng Pilipinas para ganon kahaba ang preparation mo?" Natigilan sya. "OMG! Sa ibang bansa ba??"

"Yeah. Hindi ko kasi alam pano sasabihin sa inyo. Kaya. . "

Andrew interrupted. "If this was because of Tanya, bakit kaylangan mo pa lumayo?"

"No, it's not about her. I had my ticket just before they broke up. And I know it'll be harder for me to leave if she's alone."

"Hindi ko maintindihan."

Siningitan ni Gab si Krizzy. "Honetly, mas gusto ko na ikaw makatuluyan ni Tanya. kahit pa mapalayo ka sa kanya, I know you can still work things out. Pero, iba na nga situation nyo, kaya hindi ko na iisipin na may possibility pa yun." Tuloy tuloy na pagsasalita ni Gab at umalis.

"You should have, at least, realized na ikaw ang bet namin para sa kaibigan natin. Pero sya na mismo yung nilayo mo sayo. I hate you for that. It'll sound too mushy, pero kung mahirapan ulit si Tanya kay Jeric, I won't share the good news to you." Sinundan na ni Krizzy si Gab.

. . . . .

"Bakit sila galit sakin?" Tanong ko kay Andrew.

Tumingin lang sakin si Andrew at tinapik ako sa braso.

". . . "

The night before the flight. Nakipagkita sakin si Tanya.

"Kahit kelan, ang daya mo." Sabi nya sakin

"Bakit? Babalik pa naman ako ah? And besides, parang ganon din naman yun. Nasa malayo lang ako."

"Puro na lang pasurprise, nakakadisappoint naman."

Natawa ako. "Why? Maging masaya ka na lang para sakin, this is what I really want to do in my life." Sinusubukan ko tingnan sya sa mata. Pero umiiwas naman.

"Ano bang naisip mo dati nung nanliligaw pa lang si Jeric sakin." After few seconds of silence, bigla nya natanong

"To be honest, wala." Napatingin sya sakin. "Pero nung mapansin ko na malaki na naging pagbabago satin, parang nawalan na ko ng own will. Nasunod ko nga course na pinakuha sakin ni mom di ba?" Pabiro na sabi ko.

"Naiisip ko naman minsan, pano kung hindi mo nga pinansin si Jeric, anong mangyayari satin? I keep on going back to those scenarios na may chance akong sabihin na i'ignore mo na lang sya. Pero, after that, ano gagawin ko kung i'ignore mo nga sya? So I settled on being okay if you're with other guy. I'm clearly confused about what I feel. Kesa naman maguluhan ka din."

"If I don't mind at all? Kung iniintay nga lang kita? I'm sorry if I talk like I don't have a boyfriend. Pero binabalikan ko din naman yung mga time na yun. Pano kung ikaw nag sayaw sakin nung senior prom. At pano kung inamin mo na ikaw nga yung may letter that night?"

"How did you know?"

"How did I know? Now I'm sure it was you. I dreamt of being loved by you, Champ." Then there was tears. "I never had the courage to tell you how much I love you. That I'm just waiting for my bestfriend. Bakit kasi okay lang sayo na makuha ako ng iba?" She cried even harder

I stand there, doing nothing. . . again. Yes, the girl that I love stand right next to me, asking me why am I such a coward.

I hugged her. "If only you can read my mind."

Sa airport.

"Sasabihin ko kay mom na padalan ka ng pera para makadalaw ka naman sa Italy. Puntahan mo ko don bro." Parang di mapakali si Andrew.

Binigyan sya ng tubig ni dad. "Mamaya lang, iiyak na yan eh." napaiyak nga si Andrew.

"Pano naman kase, di mo man lang sinabi sakin. Wala naman problema kung magbabakasyon ka lang don. 8 years eh, 8 years!"

"Sandali lang naman yun eh. Malay mo, may pamangkin na ko sayo kung makapasa ka nga kay Gab." Biro ko na alng kay Andrew.

"Bakit naman dun pa?"

"Magcheck in ka pa, pumasok ka na iho." Binigay sakin ni mom yung hand-carry ko na bag.

"Opo. I'll call you guys right when the plane landed there." So I hugged them all goodbye. Pero may dumating pa.

"I still hate you, pero ayoko naman umalis ka na di pa tayo magkita." Yumakap sakin si Krizzy. "Take good care of yourself. Okay?"

Yumakap din si Gab. "Ichachat mo ko lagi ha? Online naman ako lagi sa Skype. Kahit sa phone."

"Oo na. Sasama pa din ako sa Saturdays natin." So I asked for a group hug.