What it takes (Camren)

Chapter 9

Lauren was in a daze. She couldn't take her eyes off this new Camila. This giggly, funny girl who made silly jokes and kept trying to kiss Dinah. She was completely different from the person she had been the last few days...suddenly, there was a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there before. Whe she laughed, it was loud and full, and her eyes shone even brighter. Lauren wasn't listening to what they were saying, her mind only focusing on Camila's smile. She had tought the girl was attractive before, in a brooding/dark way, but this was different. Lauren thought Camila was cute and goofy, but the cutesy kind of goofy. The kind that lights up the room and makes everything better. She realised in that moment that she could spend the rest of her life just watching her and she'd be happy.

Sofi, who had been cuddling up to Lauren while they finished watching the movie, or at least Lauren pretended to, nudged her arm to get her attention.

"I'm hungry" She told her in a whisper.

"Yeah? What do you want to eat?" Lauren asked, to what Sofi only shrugged.

At that same moment, she heard Dinah quietly ask Camila

"how are you holding up, Mila?"

"Good! I'm fine" She said, in an overly happy tone, wearing a smile that looked as fake as her words sounded. She was looking at Sofi now, making sure the little girl wasn't listening to their conversation.

Lauren, sensing that they probably needed some privacy, and wanting to help, thought back to her plan of making soup for them, but like real soup, with real vegetables and chicken.

"Wanna go to the grocery store with me and Leo? The little guy needs some fresh air" she said, looking at the sleeping dog who hadn't even bothered to wake up when Dinah arrived.

Informing them of their plan, they headed out of the house.

-

"Ok, you can stop pretending now" Dinah said as soon as Lauren closed the door behind her.

"I said I'm fine" She replied, already getting defensive. Why did people have to ask that? It was not just the question that bothered her, it was the look on people's faces when they did; their eyes a mix of sadness, fear, and pity. Like she was a balloon that was being filled past its safe point and everyone was just waiting for it to explode. She hated that look, and she didn't seem to be able to escape it...the only person who didn't look at her like that was Lauren.

"No, you're not" Dinah insisted. "You know you can talk to me and..."

"Why ask if you know the answer?" Camila said interrupting her. "I know, ok. But I don't want to talk about it. I'm happy you're here so just let me enjoy that and don't ruin it by asking or making me talk about things because I don't want to talk about it" the last part came out as a desperate plea. She could already feel it rising from her stomach, through her chest, trying to make its way out of her mouth. That sob that threatened to suffocate her, making the weight on her chest feel heavier, clouding her eyes with unshead tears that had to remain that way because if she wasn't strong enough, if she let only one tear out she wasn't sure she would be able to stop them all from drowning her.

"You need to open up, Waltz. You need to talk about it...please let me help you" Dinah was holding Camila's hands, almost begging her. She could see it in her eyes and it killed her inside. There was so much pain in her best friend's eyes that she couldn't hold her gaze for too long without feeling it too. They had been friends for 12 years now, going through many things together, always counting on eachother. They had cried together, shared secrets and dreams, their passions. They knew everything about eachother, and could talk to eachother about everything...or at least they had. But Camila had build a wall around her heart, that not even Dinah could climb over. She noticed the change the day she arrived for the funeral, only three days after she had gotten a call from Lucy telling her what had happened. It's like Camila, her Camila, wasn't there anymore. She had been a shell of herself, completely lost in her sorrow. She pushed everyone away, she hid her feelings and put on a fake mask for Sofi's sake.