Amidst my aimless ages
Teenage, adolescence, nonsense pretenses through the rose colored lenses of youth
I felt and frequently feel a pulsing in my chest
A heartbeat, perhaps, but that's too easy
A heart doesn't tick tock tick tock
Inside of me, there's a clock
Reminding me of the irreversible ends everything receives
Dreaded ends, daunting and desolate, to replace vivacious instants
Moments of torment, with their suffocating claws, smother the tick tock tick tock
Ticking only transpires when my greatest segments of existence expire
But there's no ticking in the dark
Dark, sleek black dark with a cloak over my clock
Thick numb dark with molasses tides that pull me under
I drown and I drown for eternity
Infinity passes until the molasses smells like sugar again
And again my clock ticks until the next time I am frozen in the dark
Time is longer in the dark, it is cold and stiff
Lifted into the light, I know it's fickle
My clock in my chest betrays these best times
These good times I wish I could freeze how the dark freezes me
But persistently tick tock tick tock
Mental countdown until I spin out and crash in the dark
Why am I like this, why must this clock insist
Savor dark, it says, savor somber for longer than seconds
The light can last as long as it likes but listen to my tick tock tick tock
Sometime it will end and you'll descend back to the dark again
And time will stand still as it always will when you're alone at the bottom of the sea
tick tock tick tock
It's an illusion, I know it, but my clock won't show it
Won't show how it's tricking me
All I can think all I can speak is the monstrous dark
Appear and disappear
The rare kiss of sheer bliss I dismiss
Reduced to Tick tock tick tock
This pulsing in my chest
What a tragic way to tell the time
Sublime in poetry
Wicked in rhyme
