When I grow up I'd like to be a shadow.
A permanent placemat for passerby feet.
It wouldn't hurt as much to be stepped on as it does now.
When I grow up I want to be a shadow so that I can be worthless and insignificant like it was a talent instead of an unfortunate circumstance
No one would see me as discarded or neglected because a shadow is meant to be beneath the world
If no one came to rescue me that would be just fine because keeping behind others would be what I was meant to do.
And I would be good at it
Because I'm good at it now, when I'm not supposed to be
I want to grow up and become a shadow so that when they chance to look at me they don't see something to pity
They see nothing at all
When I grow up I'd like to be a shadow so that I might be immersed in rejection
If I were a shadow I wouldn't look at my reflection and see failure
I'd see nothing at all
In vivid color, I am stark
I am the sore thumb on a hand of dainty fingers
I am the outcast that no one wanted and that feeling lingers
So I would like to make that my profession
Where can I sign up?
I'm fifteen years late
I won't hesitate, give me a pen and I'll scrawl my name a thousand times
Autograph my name until the paper bleeds
It plants its seeds in me
The shadow I was born to be grows like a weed
No one pleads for me
I'm already forgotten
When I grow up I'd like to be a shadow so that it doesn't bother me when no one grieves
So that I don't feel like a nuisance or nonsense or a pretense
I spill my guts on an empty page that no one ever reads
Because no one cares what becomes of me
I can't become an artist or physician or a magician that's tricky with cards
I can't become an explorer or a scientist or a vigilante anarchist
I'm a licensed pessimist.
So why can't they make me a shadow already?
When I grow up, I'll decree, that this dark, empty body belongs to me
When I grow up I'll be what I was meant to be
Go ahead and guess what I'll be
A shadow.
Finally.
