The 49th Hunger Games

Day 18 (continued): Wolf and Birch

I left the alliance just about 5 hours ago, and now I'm at the cornucopia. The silence is disturbing. Eerie. I can hear my own breathing, but I've decided I'm going to stay inside the actual mouth. It's sheltered and there will most likely be no one coming to kill me. I'm just standing quietly in awe, still quite deterred by the idea that I'm once again treading on the grounds of the first battle, and the grounds that will probably hold the final one. The tributes that will be part of it, I don't know, but I'm assuming that Autumn or Birch will - boom. I jump about a foot in the air, the silence-rupturing sound of the cannon terrifying me. Another one bites the dust. I take a deep, unsteady breath. My vision focuses on the long grass directly behind the cornucopia, and I wonder if maybe there's a tribute hidden deep in there. There probably is, considering as I have a nagging thought that keeps telling me there's a 6th tribute aside from us remaining Careers and Marlou and Autumn. Well, one of the others is dead now but I don't know which one. Sadly, although I'm burning with curiosity, I'm not going to find out who's dead until night. I sigh, sitting down inside the cornucopia without taking off my backpack and proceeding to take a day nap. In this heat, I don't need a sleeping bag, so it doesn't take long for the warmth to take me into a patchy, uncomfortable sleep. 

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I stumble backwards. What have I done? Why did I do that? I notice I'm trembling. But she's dead. Diamond's dead. I just killed her. I don't know what came over me. I don't want her to die. I didn't want her to die. But now she's dead. I reach out towards her waterlogged body that was only minutes ago writhing and making muffled noises of protest as I held her by the throat under the surface of the oasis. Then the noises turned to choking and then the silence as...

"What have I done?" I cry to myself, crawling pitifully towards her. "D-Diamond? Why do you have to be dead?" I ask pathetically, touching her icy white, damp skin. Her body is still submerged from her shoulders to the top of her head. 

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I wake up to the sound of a cannon. "Holy..." I whisper, letting my heart return to normal pace. How many people are dying today? It's the second time I've been scared out of my skin by a cannon. It's still daylight out, and I'm guessing that it's most likely mid-afternoon. But the Gamemakers reverted back to the lights on/lights off tactic instead of the normal, outisde world sunset and sunrise. I sigh and drag my hands down my face, shaking. By now I'm desperate to know who's died. And whether 4 or 3 people are alive. I bury my face in my knees.

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I pull her out of the oasis and her hair is a sopping mess all over her face. She's sorry-looking as I lay her down on the sand. I back away from her on hands and knees and start gasping. She's dead and I killed her. I took her life. 

I didn't want to kill anyone. Diamond was probably my best friend in the arena. She deserved to win. She was nice. She couldn't have hurt a fly. She wouldn't have killed me. I betrayed her trust. We were the final Careers alive and we were meant to work together and have a fair fight to the death when we got to the final 2, even though I probably would have won anyway. 

"Diamond..." I croak, one hand touching her stomach gently. "I didn't want to kill you..." I falter and cough as I move further towards her head. Her face is bloodless and white, her skin probably icy chilled despite the warmth of the day. "I wanted you to live and win and get married..." I choke out, "But I stole all of that. You'll never get to have kids..." Birch, it's not you - it's the Games. It's them. "I really do hate that I won't ever get to see you again." I carry on, still not touching anything other than her stomach. "I won't be able to speak to you." Try to win. I wanted to, but I lacked the will to go to the extents the Games encourages. I'll be okay up here. Just try your hardest. "I really really wish there was  way to get both of us out alive." I understand. At least I don't have to live in such a cruel world, not anymore. I don't have to bring innocent children into this brutality. "None of us deserve this. Not even Truth," I gulp. "She was a cold-blooded killer, but maybe even her ambition could have been put to effective use."

I know that imagining Diamond's soft, supportive comments is unfair to her honor. But I want to justify it. Her kindness is a metaphor for the forgiveness I yearn for yet in no way deserve. I should have just waited until something or someone killed one of us. But I did it. I killed her. I get up and start running unsteadily to the cornucopia. I need a new water source and I know there's one there. That and the final battle can't be far away now.

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I gaze out of the mouth of the cornucopia. It's raining, but not so much that you'd notice without properly looking. It's a fine drizzle against the blackness of night. Actually, it's not that black. It's a bright night, with navy blue pale light. It's foggy, too, but not the extent that you can't see anything. It can't be long until it's all over. Soon, we'll find out who the Victor is. I don't want to fight or hurt anyone, though, as much as I want it to be over. It feels strange to be nearing the climax. Mourning for the people who didn't even make it so far as the final 15. Or people that came so close, like the two dead today. And especially the 3 or 4 people that toughed it out to the very end, one of them being me. All but one of us are going to be dead most likely within the next two days. Or next day. Why is it randomly cold? The Gamemakers get fun out of messing with the arena, but this is just unnecessary. I wrap my jacket further around me, stand up and walk to the edge of the cornucopia. Leaning against the entrance, I watch the emptiness and silence, imagining how the end will play out. Which one of us will start it? What injuries will the Victor sustain? When will it happen? Who will kill who? Will I win? Will I die? Who will win? 

 A few hours must have passed since I left the Careers. Maybe it's about 7pm. Even though I've slept I still feel stiff and tired. I yawn, but I cut it off in the middle when I see a figure staggering towards the expanse of water next to the cornucopia. The one that looks like an ocean. I forgot about it actually, and I'm guessing that most people did too. The figure is definitely Birch. So if I piece that together, Diamond is probably one of the two people that died today. I keep silent and frozen, watching to see what happens as Birch falls to his knees and appears to be drinking from the water. Not very wise, unless he's drowning himself. I don't see why he would try to kill himself though, he's made it this far and strikes me as a winner. Maybe he's just desperately thirsty. But he has the oasis, doesn't he? Maybe something happened. I'm overanalyzing. Whatever happened, he's here now and his face is half-submerged in water. I continue to watch him, hoping he doesn't notice me when a third cannon goes off and I jump again, accidentally slamming into the side of the cornucopia. I whimper quietly and cover my mouth, waiting for Birch to turn around and see me. But he doesn't. In fact, he's still. Unmoving. Limp. 

Why would he be the one dead? There's one answer. Poison. Or two, maybe he was actually drowning himself. I dare to creep out from the cornucopia, looking both ways before sprinting over to Birch. I don't see why I'm being so cautious, but it's become a habit. I poke him with my foot to make sure he's really dead. He is, because he doesn't move. The alarm starts when I notice the water underneath the part of his body submerged is turning red. 

"What the..." I can't even think of a word to summarize my utter...eurgh. He's bleeding. Why is he bleeding? What is there to make him bleed? I can't move him because I'm nowhere near strong enough. I use my foot to try and roll him over and fail. I groan quietly with frustration. I'm too curious, so I find a stick and drop it into the water. It dissolves in the liquid, fizzing and hissing. I gasp. 

"Oh dear Panem..." I whisper, strangled. His face has been burned off. Disintegrated. I back away before breaking back into a full out forward run back into the cornucopia. I curl up on the floor as the anthem starts to play. I can watch the faces in the sky.

First, as predicted, Diamond. Maybe Birch killed her. Maybe she died naturally. Then next is Birch. And that means...Autumn's dead? Her face lights the sky after Birch's to confirm my suspicion. I can't help but wonder how she died. Please let it have been painless. She was a fighter, but now it's wasted. 

I'm facing the fact that the final battle will probably be me and Marlou. Maybe the unknown tribute from one of the middle Districts too. But the 13 year old from District 2 versus the 17 year old from District 4 that Tiberius probably died for. His best friend. I don't know if I can kill someone I, in a way, helped to protect. By promising not to tell Truth where Tiberius had gone, I know I sealed my friendship with him. 

Can I really kill someone my friend died for?