A Room With A View

Chapter Thirty-Five - Madeline

October 16th, Monday

"Hi," Madeline breathed.

"Hi," Brian said, sounding surprised.

Madeline smiled nervously. The train stuttered forward, and Madeline fell against the center pole. She sat down quickly next to Brian.

She had never been this close to him. Usually an entire courtyard separated the two of them. Half her mind was screaming at her to get off at the next stop and go to her audition, but the other half was, well, also screaming at her to get off at the next stop and go to her audition.

Madeline watched Brian out of the corner of her eye. He was very still. He looked cuter up close. Or maybe Madeline was just seeing him in a new light.

"Did you leave me flowers and Bisquick?" Madeline asked.

Brian fiddled with the stem of his thick glasses. "Yes," he said, still not looking at her.

"Thank you. The flowers were beautiful, and the Bisquick saved my life. I've been eating pancakes practically every meal for a week. They...they meant a lot." A hot lump formed at the base of Madeline's throat. She blinked her eyes rapidly and focused on her red mittens. Her hands were sweating inside the fleece.

"Why are you wearing mittens?" Brian turned pink and waved his hands in front of his face, as if trying to erase what he'd just said. "Sorry, I meant to say that I like your mittens."

"Oh, thank you. I know it's a bit warm yet for these, but my hands get cold easily, so..." Madeline trailed off. It had just hit her how ridiculous this must look. She had clearly bolted up the stairs and muscled her way onto an uptown train just to say hello to a random guy who lived in her building.

Madeline slunk down in the chair, wishing she could disappear through the hard plastic. It had been that stupid Sunset at the Cove, planting all these absurdly romantic thoughts in her head. It was just fiction. People didn't jump onto trains to follow loved ones in real life.

Loved ones...did Madeline just think that? No, she couldn't have. She had promised Alina that she didn't.

But...Brian had given her pancakes. And flowers. And a little message tied to the flowers saying, "My thoughts are with your family", in beautiful, handwritten cursive.

The lump in her throat grew in size. Madeline swallowed thickly. She couldn't cry, not on the subway. She already looked crazy, what would Brian think of her if she burst into tears?

The doors opened on 47-50th, Rockefeller Plaza. Madeline watched the people flooding onto the train. She told herself to stand, say goodbye, and get to her rehearsal, but her legs stayed firmly rooted to the floor.

"How is your brother?" Brian asked in a hushed voice. He turned to look at her this time, and his face was laced with genuine concern.

Madeline bit her lips and flared her nostrils. Not here, she told herself, do not cry here.

"He's going to be fine," she said quietly, matching his tone. Alina mentioned that she had told Brian the gist of what'd happened to Colin, so Madeline was glad she didn't have to relay every detail. "He has to do a bit of rehab, but my mom's there with him now, so that's good. It didn't make sense for me to stay any longer. He's going to come home for the holidays." Madeline took off her mittens and played with a loose string. She had wanted to stay longer. She had wanted to stay until the doctor said Colin was the healthiest person he had ever seen, but Madeline's mother had told her to go home. Not unkindly, Madeline's mother just didn't want Madeline to worry anymore. Colin was going to be fine, so there was no need for Madeline to stay in Sydney sitting around between doctor's appointments. It had sparked an argument between them, but in the end Colin was the one who had looked up flights to New York and suggested which one Madeline should take.

So she had come home. To a bouquet of wilting carnations and a family-sized box of Bisquick.

"I'm glad to hear that's he's alright. I'm so sorry--"

"Please don't," Madeline said, cutting him off. "I appreciate it, and I know you mean it, but honestly I don't think I can handle that right now."

Brian's fingers twitched. Madeline wildly hoped that he meant to hold her hand, but she squashed that thought almost instantly. She didn't know him. At all.

So where was this sudden attraction coming from?

You're just in a vulnerable place right now, the rational side of her thought as she stuffed her hands back into her mittens. He's just the first person who showed you a bit of kindness, and you're clinging to that.

The train slowed into 57th St.

"Oh shoot," Madeline said suddenly, standing up. "I should go. I hadn't realized my first train was express and I went a stop too many and that's why I was at Bryant Park but I'm supposed to be at an audition near Herald Square," she babbled.

Brian stood as well. It was a sweet gesture, like when gentlemen used to stand for ladies in the olden days.

"Your bag," he said, holding out Madeline's carry-all. It, too, was purple.

Madeline took it from him, feeling her fingers brush his between the fleece of her mitten. She wondered what it would feel like if she wasn't wearing them.

"Thank you."

Madeline edged out of the subway doors and onto the platform.

"Madeline!" Brian said quickly. He held a hand in front of the doors, stopping them from closing.

"Yes?" Madeline hitched her bag up on her shoulder.

"You said you've been eating pancakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, right?"

Madeline nodded.

"Would you like to have a real dinner sometime?"

The blood rushed to Madeline's ears. She felt herself saying yes before she'd even made the decision.

"That would be wonderful," she said.

Brian smiled. It was a slow smile, starting in the dimples of his lips and spreading across his face. Madeline knew right then and there that it would be her favorite smile.

Brian stepped back and let the doors slide shut. He waved at her through the window. Madeline waved back.

Madeline watched the train pull away from the platform. She continued to watch it long after it had disappeared from sight. It hadn't been a long conversation, but Madeline still felt like it was the beginning of something.

Madeline skipped up the stairs and across to the downtown platform. She was humming her audition song to herself. It was the lead song from last year's Tony award-winning musical, which might be a bit cliche of Madeline, but it fit right within her range, and Madeline was desperate to make a good impression with the casting director.

The casting director for this new musical was a friend of Patricia's. Patricia had been very understanding when Madeline had called and explained her situation, but since Madeline had missed a full month of rehearsals, Patricia couldn't let her back in the show. It had been a bummer, but Patricia had kindly set Madeline up with this new audition. It was being cast by one of Patricia's coworkers.

Madeline felt lighter than she had in a month. Even though she'd lost out on Patricia's show, she was suddenly sure that this new musical was going to be the one that would put her on the map.

The downtown train rolled into the station. Madeline boarded the subway, and headed south to what she hoped would be the next chapter of her future.