Langst

I was alone

I was alone, I was a frozen lake but then you melted me awake *I came up with the title and then couldn't stop singing this song, any Heathers fans*

Set in season 3

               The words keep echoing in my head, maybe the best thing I can do for my team is to step aside. I talked to Keith but it only made things worse. He told me things would work themselves out, but how. Until then what are we going to do, we still have one to many paladins. Maybe the way it'll work out is with me stepping down. Maybe I could go home. No I couldn't sit at home while my friends, no family, risk their lives in this stupid war. What use would I be not piloting a lion though, they don't listen to my strategies for a reason, I can't do close combat, and I'm definitely not smart.

      The same things have echoed in my mind for a long while now, fortunately I haven't had to step down, black wouldn't let Shiro in. Shiro's different too, I don't know if its because of him having been back with the Galra, but there's definitely something wrong with him. He doesn't seem like Shiro. But I guess after Keith left, and Black opened up for Shiro, I can't help but blame myself. I had brought up having to many paladins, but I didn't think Keith would leave. He is a better fighter, a better pilot, he should be piloting Red not me. When keith almost sacrificed himself, trying to crash into the shield protecting hagar's ship, I couldn't breath, I couldn't help but think in that moment it would be better if it were me.

"Lance pay attention!" Allura snaps me out of my thoughts

" Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?" I reply back quickly

"We were discussing what to do with our prisoner, you know Prince Lotor who is locked up at the moment" She replies hotly.

"Right, maybe we should take a minute cool down and come back to the conversation in a little while" Hunk intervenes, fortunately. That guy always has looked out for me.

"Yeah I'm starving I could eat a whole weblum" I agree, smiling at a hunk, telling him thanks with my eyes. We have gotten very good at communicating without having to actually say anything to one another, and I can see the understanding in his eyes.

" I guess we don't have to figure it out now besides we're not getting anywhere" Allura stated curtly before she leaves to god knows where.

       I head down and get some food, some for me and some for our prisoner. This is going to be so much fun, so glad I drew the short straw and ended up in charge of keeping Lotor alive tell we find out what to do with him. He's sitting against the wall, even though there is a perfectly good bed to sit on. He smirks as I walk in.

"Well, hello  Blue eyes, What have I done to deserve such a gorgeous thing like you to deliver my food" Lotor practically purred.

" I have no idea what you are talking about, and I'll inform you I had the unfortunate luck of being picked for this job" I reply coldly and send a level glare at him.

" I've been watching you paladins for some time now, and none of them are as intriguing as you, so I for one am very pleased you will be caring for me". His voice islow and smooth spoken quietly, it feels as if he's whispering it into my ear. I swallow, my mouth gone dry,

"I'm not that interesting."

"Funny" A flicker of a smile and his gaze never wavers. "Uninteresting people generally don't have to say that."
I have to get out - right now. I have given the food so I have no reason to stay. A step closer. His words drawing me closer.

"What are you trying so hard to hide?" Lotor murmures.

I practically sprint from the room, he had managed to say all the right things to get under my skin. He didn't look like he was lying either, but I'm sure that being a Galran prince makes you a skilled liar. This repeats for next two weeks, me delivering his meals, him complimenting me. It stopped bothering me surprisingly quickly. It felt nice to be appreciated for once. Maybe it was just the team who thought me useless, I've always had self worth problems. I walk into the room, some of hunks leftovers in hand; they'd taste better than goo.

"Hello Blue, always a pleasure to see you, how has your day been. "
Lotors the first person to ask that in such a long time, it pains me a bit to hear it.

"Fine" I say quickly with a big smile.

"Your not, I can tell, did I say something wrong?. He seems to be honestly concerned, he actually noticed I’m not telling the truth.

" I... I got brushed off, did something wrong and got scolded, no big deal" I reply trying to play it off, while I frantically try to rebuild the mask that Lotor is ripping apart.

" They don't appreciate you." He's not even asking, He completly confident.

"What of course they do, how could they not I'm awesome," My voice is getting higher, my words coming out quicker.

"You are amazing but they don't acknowledge you for it, why hide it." Lotor stated it so simply, the things I've waited to hear for so long.

" We are at war, they don't have time to praise for every little thing I do that actually helps" I look down at the floor, a frown tugging at my lips.

"No, but they have time to scold you, ridicule you, make you doubt yourself?" confusion evident in his voice as he speaks, he truly doesn't get how I don't see it his way.

"That's not their fault, though it's mine”. I spit out quietly, hatred dripping from the words.

"It's not, they take out their anger wrongly on you" Lotor says with a scowl, "It's hurting you, I hate it."

        He really cares doesn't he. Why. Why would Lotor care about me, hate the way the paladins treat me.

"At least this way I have a use, my skills may not be useful but I can be their punching bag". I whisper, pain threatens to close off my throat; I feel tears begin to pool in my eyes.

"Your skills would be nothing if not hailed in my empire, Lance. You would be my finest asset. I couldn't imagine letting a soldier with your talents go to waste. At my side you'd be the hero that you've always wanted to be, you'd be respected, cared for." He whisperes into my ear, his silky voice low and enticing. Tears spill down my cheeks, my chest feels warm. I want it.