lapidot fanfiction: do you love me?

goodbye..

angst/blood/depression t/ self-harm

Lapis POV

I sat on the bed for the rest of the night and didn't sleep and Peridot was still sleeping. I looked at Peridot and it was stinging in my eyes, all this time I need to go but from what? I could see in my thoughts suicide and everything that will happen to both of us. Peridot have been so nice to me but why?.. I raised me up from the bed and headed down to the kitchen. I opened the drawer I took out a little sharp knife. I started drag the knife in my skin and now I cut depper in the skin, when I looked up I didn't know what to do. I saw Peridot with shocked eyes and tears too, I dropped the knife and ran up to the bathroom and locked. I started laugh for some reason, I think I lost it my appetite and everything. I stopped laughing I took a deep breath and unlocked the door and saw Peridot sniffling and her eyes was already red. I dropped to my knees and hugged her and she hugged back" w-why lapis?" she cried "because it was meant to happen" What the fuck Lapis was that! I broke the hug and headed towards the room and packed my things. She followed after me, I was done packing and headed towards the door. She tooked my hand and I turned my head and saw a weak nerd and innocent also cute girl crying. I turned my head back and remember all the good times we had bring together "Lapis please answer me what have gotten into you!?" she shouted then the bad side showed up against Peridot " haha you wanna know why because I'm tired of everything and even you because you have been so nice to me lately so that's why and the depression is what have gotten into me now" cried laugh at the sametime. "You know what I don't care and I'm sorry you have to deal with me, I was only nice to you because I had never a friend like you." she yelled but closed her mouth with her hands. " I'm not sorry and hope you'll have a good life and I will meet you in school but I will not say hi" " so fuck off" those last words I said and slammed the door behind her. I started the car and drove away from her house.

Peridot POV

I waked up by my stairs noices man I need to fix them. I walked down afterwards and saw something I regreted. I was about to say something but it would not out from my mouth. Instead I had tears in my eyes and curled lips, she looked up but with a shocked face and her eyes is not as they used to be they are red and she is crying. She dropped the knife to the floor and ran up to bathroom. I fell to my knees and looked at the knife I can hear Lapis laugh upstairs, that made me cry even more I got up and started walking upstairs and I reached to the door. I could hear more laughter and words. I slide to the ground and was crying more but much stronger this time. she stopped and unlocked the door, she gave me a fast hug and I did so too. she broke the hug and walked towards my room and packed her thing when she was done she headed towards the door. Luckily I grabbed her hand and and shouted at her" Lapis please answer me what have gotten into you?!" she smiled and " haha you wanna know why beacuse I'm tired of everything and even you because you have been so nice to me lately so that's why and the depression is what have gotten into me" she smiled and her eyes with tears. I couldn't take it anymore "You know what I don't care and I'm sorry for you have to deal with me, I was only nice to you because I had never a friend like you!" I yelled but quickly shut my mouth with my hands. "I'm not sorry and hope you'll have good life and I will see you in school but I will not say hi" "so fuck off" She yelled and after she slammed the door.

I dropped me into my knees and cried like never before I lost the person who cared about me but ended up in a tragedy. Pumpkin ran towards me and was whining he laid down beside me, I took my phone from my pocket and called the others. I changed clothes and tried to make me calm, I opened the door and saw the others I greeted the othes they could came. I grabbed some tea and sat down on the cough the others too it was silent but steven asked one easy question to me " Peridot is something wrong?" I looked shocked with me eyes but it switch to sad ones. " y-yes there is something wrong" " you wanna talk about it" Pearl replied. I telled them what happend and everyone was unhappy but I was literally crying. The others hugged me I gave them a big hug back, It was evening and the others had to go. I got up to my bed and falled asleep with my casual clothes... I hope you'll forgive me..

My god I'm depressed I'm sorry it was a long time ago I worked on this but I'll try to be in it so yeah