It's Real, little duck

Flashback

A/N: SO sorry for the very confusing changes in tenses. It's NOT meant to be that way. Bare with me. I'll go back and edit this story later on...

Katniss' pov

Where am I? When I woke up, without any nightmares, and didn't remember last night, I felt confused. That's untill I felt his arms around me, at least. I smiled.

"No nightmares?" He said.

"No nightmares", I answered.

The day went by and the next night he stays to sleep, again. He starts to stay every night, and I sleep better those nights than ever after the games. He holds me, waving me asleep every time I wake up by bad dreams. There is something about him that makes it possible to smile even though it seems impossible with all my loss in mind.

"Hey! Haymitch?" I said after entering his home, two weeks after Peeta first stayed after dinner.

"Is it just you sweetheart", he shouted.

"Yes it's me"

"Can you help me a little?" Wow, is Haymitch asking for help?

"Sure", I said.

I went through his hallway and found him in an armchair.

"What do you need help with?" I ask.

"Can you give me the book there?" he said with a grin. He might be drunk, I considered quietly.

"That's all?" I asked frustrated.

"All the help yes, now give it to me", he said.

"I saw that you and Peeta." Does he know about our nights? No, he couldn't possibly, I thought. "... working on a book with people", he continues. I feel relieved. Not a relationship talk after all-

"And?" I asked.

"Those are people who should be in it too," he shook the book (that was now in his hands) towards my face in an excessive gesture. 

I look down in his book. It's open on a side with a picture a teenage girl. Over the picture is the name the name Clarie.

"She competed in the games, one year after I won", Haymitch said, putting his finger over her face in the picture. "This is tributes I trained and friends of mine. It's just notes of persons so I could come over when you're working. Right?"

"Sure", I said. "Every person is worth to remember."

Then I went home. I judged Haymitch fine for now and didn't think he would need me there. When I came home I got a shock, when I saw Peeta in my kitchen. He used to go home before noon. His eyes were widened and he looked at me. First I thought he was having a flashback but there was no evil in his widened eyes or in his smile. I felt something else, something unknown in the deeps of his eyes that talked to me. I once heard your eyes can widen in love, but it was impossible. After his hijacking, he began to see me for what I really am. Mad, unfriendly and so on. Why would he look at me like that then?

"Katniss", he said.

"Yes, Peeta?"

He leaned toward me and without knowing why, I put my lips on his. I sigh with all the streaming feelings. His lips feel so soft and so warm. I kiss him again and his eyes are even more widened now.

"Katniss, you don't need to do this. This is not what you want, I know that."

"Not real Peeta. I did it, right? Because I wanted to", I said.

I kiss him once more just to prove it and he sighs loudly and the sound makes me satisfied somehow. Maybe he is still in love with me after all.

No that's stupid thoughts.

Peeta's Pov

I can't explain how it felt when she kissed me. The butterflies I had in my stomach when I was around her turned into pure fire. It was unbearable and I found myself answering the kiss. Then she pulled away and the butterflies returned to be just that, butterflies.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?" She asked as if everything was normal. I would have said yes, like always. But I felt my mind wrestling, trying to focus and I couldn't get myself out of the tangling mess that spread inside my brain. Instead of saying yes, I said hesitantly:

"Go Katniss." I gasped.

Katniss Pov

I saw his eyes grow darker and darker. No. What had I done?

"Katniss. Go!" He told me again. He begged me to leave him in his pain. And I couldn't. My brain told me to do as he said and walk away, but my heart told me something else. It wanted me to stay and help him through it like he used to help me out of the nightmares during the night. As I walked closer to him again I barely heard his "Go! Leave me alone." I took his hand in mine as he started to scream things about mutts.

"Peeta, it's not real. I am real. Not them. I am not a mutt, I am real." Then I kissed him again, just to prove it and suddenly I felt his body relax. I held him in the kiss until he was responding to my touch. I looked up and saw his blue eyes as wonderful as ever.

"Okay," he said. "I'll sleep with you if you still want me to. I can stay at home." His voice turned surprisingly sad.

"Stay with me, Peeta." For some reason, I wasn't afraid of him, not even the version of him that had cloudy dark eyes. Not even the mutt.

That day past, as did the next. He slept holding me both nights. No more flashbacks, even though I woke up from nightmares a few times. He was kind and caring. One time when I almost had driven off to sleep again he kissed me softly on the lips and made me smile.

His arms were the safest place on earth and as those days past, I knew that something grew inside me. Something fluttering, not really new, and comfortable. What I didn't know was what to with it. 

A/N Hi! Finally a longer chapter you guys. I hope you enjoyed. AND finally I want to say that I have been having a writer's block or something during the last months and if you have wondered, that is why I haven't updated in a long while. At least I have been correcting the typos of the chapters I already have and I am ready to give this story a try again. I would be so glad for comments, by the way, to know what I should train and work on. See you when I post the next chapter.