Let's Take the Road Before Us

Epilogue

My alarm clock rang, stirring me from my deep sleep. The wake up song was "Only Time Will Tell" by Asia. I really didn't want to get up, so I convinced myself I could spare five more minutes. I hit snooze.

I closed my eyes for what felt like three seconds before the alarm went off again. I was about to press snooze again when I realized that I had to take Ben to the doctor's. If I delayed any longer, I would definitely be late.

I always thought that I'd be ok getting up early once I got out of school, but I guess I was wrong. It was still just as difficult as when I would have 8 A.M. lectures.

I got dressed and went down the stairs to the kitchen. Ben, bless his heart, was already up and eating, ready to go.

"Hey buddy. How'd you sleep?" I asked as I ruffled his hair. I grabbed a protein bar from the pantry before sitting down next to him.

"Fine, I guess." He fixed his hair in slight annoyance.

We finished eating in comfortable silence before I asked if he was ready to go. He nodded so I grabbed the keys to my car and followed him out the front door.

In the car, I asked him if he had any plans on Sunday. "Your mom and I want to take you to lunch with our lawyer. After that we can go get some ice cream."

Ben crossed his arms in response. "Why would I want to sit there well you and mom figure out all that divorce stuff?"

"Come on, it'll be real quick. We just need you there to testify for a couple things. And, come on, it's not like Lisa and I are fighting. We're on good terms."

He obviously wasn't to happy about it, but he agreed.

"Hey, it's almost over. Just a few more things to figure out. And then we can all be happy," I assured.

I'm pretty sure he mumbled "Yeah, except me" under his breath.

I sighed but decided to drop the conversation. I turned up the volume on the radio, and I noticed that Ben began to relax when he heard the Doobie Brothers song that was playing.

After a couple songs, I pulled into the parking lot. It was a little hard to find an open spot, but eventually I caught one that someone was just pulling out of.

Ben followed me out of the car and into the office with a disgruntled manner.

When we got in, I checked in with reception. It was hard for me to be in a hospital or doctor's office because of all my memories of Cas.... But today, I was determined not to freak out, for Ben's sake. I took a deep breath and tried to forget about the man that had completely stole my heart.

Because I have never taken Ben in before, I had to sign a bunch of things to prove I was his legal guardian. After I was done, I texted Lisa to let her know that everything was fine.

We took a seat in the waiting room and Ben pulled out his phone.

I could tell he was in a bad mood, so I didn't want to push my luck by trying to talk with him.

My phone dinged and I saw that Lisa had responded with an ok.

After Cas died, I needed to find someone to help me deal with the pain. Lisa had been surprisingly sympathetic and understanding. I couldn't explain it, but she had changed. A little while after graduation, we found out that I had gotten her pregnant. Because we both were going to college, I wanted to promise that I would help her raise our child and not just abandon the two of them. So, I proposed. It felt very wrong moving on from Cas, but I knew I could never have him back. And I also knew that I would adjust and learn to love Lisa. Then, several years after we both graduated from college, we realized we just weren't meant for each other, though neither of us wanted to admit it. It wasn't until I found her screwing another guy in our bed that I was finally willing to admit that we weren't working. But, as I had told Ben, we were on amicable terms. No hard feelings.

I was pulled away from my thoughts when Ben tapped me.

"Dad, they're ready for us," he said.

I got up and we followed the beautiful nurse through the halls of exam rooms. The lights were bright, which gave me the feeling of being a rat in a maze under scrutiny. The nurse led us to a room at the end of the hallway that was decorated with a shit ton of fish decals. She told us to wait until the doctor was ready to see us.

After a few moments of silence, Ben spoke.  He was sitting on the bed thing at the center of the room. "Hey, dad, did you see that a Metallica cover band in coming to Red Rocks in a couple of months?"

"Hell yeah. Don't tell your mom, but... I got us tickets."

"Sweet!" Ben loved classic rock just as much as I did, which would make sense because he shared half my DNA. Any kid of mine would have to like good music.

I chuckled as the door to our room opened. I had never met Ben's doctor before, so I didn't know what to expect.

Immediately, my eyes met familiar blue ones. I could have sworn...

I looked the man up and down. He had short brown hair that was spiked up in the front. He... he looked so much like Cas. Just... different. Older, and more tired.

"Dean?" He exclaimed.

"Cas??" It couldn't be. He died. I studied him again.

I realized that I was standing up. The doctor ran towards me and threw himself into my arms. Hugging him, I realized he was indeed Castiel. He felt and smelled the same as he had all those years ago. I could feel myself begin to cry, I had missed him so much.

I pulled away to question him. "But, you were... you were dead! They told me you died!"

"Well hello to you too," He laughed. I noticed he was crying as well. "How... Why..."

We both were struggling to speak out of shock. I was so confused... was I hallucinating? Did someone slip drugs into my coffee? I grabbed his hand to make sure that he was actually there. And he was, he felt real.

"I'm so sorry, Cas. I'm the reason we crashed. They told me you were dead, I thought you were dead," I started crying harder as I relived those awful memories.

"Hey, no, it's ok. I'm here, I'm alive. I didn't die, everything's fine," He assured as he grabbed my face. I brought him into another hug, breathing in his scent and telling myself to never forget it.

"Who told you I died?" He asked. He seemed to be thinking much more logically that I was.

"The lady. You know... The lady who was making your hospital bed and putting on new sheets." I remembered everything from that morning, mostly because I had to relive it almost every night in my nightmares. You don't just forget when you killed your boyfriend.

Cas thought for a few seconds. "You know what? The morning after the accident, they moved me from the urgent care room to another room. There must have been some confusion, that lady probably didn't know what she was talking about. Actually, yeah! The guy who was in that first room with me apparently died, she must have thought that was me. I thought you left me," He explained.

"No, I would never. After all this time... and you were fine." I was aghast. How could a mistake this terrible be made so easily and be hidden for so long.

Cas started laugh-crying so I took his hand to comfort him. "I thought you didn't want to see someone who was so damaged... so I never tried to contact you again. And I was out of school until you all graduated. I didn't think I was good enough for you..."

"Oh, Cas, you know that's bullshit. I loved you so much... I love you so much."

He smiled back at me with hopeful eyes. Everything that I thought I had lost came flooding back in flashes. That hopeful morning when I thought that I could get Sam away from John. How much I wanted a future with Cas. Every perfect moment that had been too painful to even consider.

"Do you... do you want to go get dinner?" Cas asked hopefully. "You know, just to... catch up?"

I'm pretty sure I smiled more than I even had before. "I want nothing more."